Book of Ara

Fen's Diaries

2010-02-26T19:52:00.006-05:00

I knew about her diaries, but it seemed she never had a thought she didn't blurt out loud so I certainly never had any occasion to read them before. Now I missed the sound of her voice prattling on, how every situation was somehow all about her. Whenever I'd chide her for being self-absorbed, her voice would get high-pitched as she adamantly pointed out how wrong I was.

There weren't any surprises inside, not even that she had torn out a number of pages. She was good-natured, compassionate and prone to jump into situations without thinking. In the rare event that she hurt someone beside herself in the process, she never really forgave herself.

I suppose she had a streak of modesty after all because she was ambivalent about her many accomplishments in her diaries. Before I can begin to set that right I need to shed some light on one of the most reluctant kings in all of history, the man she loved but refused to marry and the seemingly haphazard way our paths would cross.

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"Poet?" by Misha

2010-01-26T17:23:00.019-05:00

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After a painfully quiet supper Lev politely excused himself to an early night of reading and meditation. I didn't bother to respond. I sat there playing with my silverware, staring at the large portrait of Zbinka on the opposite wall. Even though she was off on another of Lord Halvren's hunting expeditions she was controlling me. What's that, Lady T'nal? Something about propriety, was it? The woman never touched meat yet went hunting enough to feed a small army. Once I finally deciphered that it was Lord Halvren with whom she was having an affair I balked at my own naivete for not seeing it sooner.

While I may have started out hurt and dejected, anger quickly incinerated any thoughts of self-pity. I picked up my knife and aimed it carefully at her face. Of course there was no way I could do it; the artist was an old friend of her's and an insufferable kranch. Destroying the painting would only lead to endless weeks of humorless, self-absorbed Byzdin prancing about, making Zbinka fawn all over a new even more masterful work. She thought it would be nice for him to teach me to paint; Zbinka did much too much thinking for me. But it wasn't Zbinka that I was angry with. It wasn't even Lev. I swung the knife around and quickly beheaded a few flowers from the vase nearest me, tossed it onto the table before heading upstairs to speak with Lev.

I paused at his door. I didn't feel like explaining myself to a slab of wood if he decided that he didn't want to see me so I took a deep breath and turned the handle; the door was unlocked. Lev was still hanging up his uniform when I entered.

"What is it, Misha?"

"I wanted to speak with you."

"You had all through supper to speak with me. Has so much transpired in these few minutes?"

"May I come in?"

"Looks as though you've already done that."

I closed the door behind me and took a few more steps toward the center of the room and closer to him. He looked at me and laughed nervously.

"What's so amusing?"

"I apologize, Misha. Between that damn pretentious beard and those ridiculous clothes-- I'm afraid my wife has done you up to look like a poet."

"I never asked for any of this, Lev."

"What more do you want from me?" He snapped.

"Your trust," I replied.

He looked at me in disbelief. "My trust?"

"I want to live with you in town."

"Absolutely not," was his firm reply.

"Why not? Are you keeping someone there?"

"You have no right to ask me that." His voice was more hurt than angry. He sat on the bed and fixed his gaze on some nonexistent object straight in front of him. "I'm trapped, Misha. Savlii has me right where he wants me. He's destroyed every request for transfer or resignation I've given him. The King can't even get me out of this."

"He could, but he won't!" I argued. Dalma was far too concerned with appearing to distance himself from the House to preserve his own power.

"It's more than that, Misha. I need to be there. They have all told me."

"What kind of nonsense is this?" I sat beside him.

"They show me the same vision: I will end the persecution. I have the sight, Misha."

"Don't say that--"

"It's true. Zbinka knows it, so does Vay. Wouldn't surprise me if Savlii knows, too. So many times I've wanted to come forward, but their voices beg me to endure. Somehow I need to make this right, but I don't know how."

I patted his leg and he placed his hand on mine. "I love you, Lev."

On all the countless occasions I told him that I loved him he's always make some sort of quip like 'You do, do you?' or 'You'll grow out of it'. This time glanced at me and was only able to manage a simple, "Thank you."

He got up and through the open door to the balcony. I used the opportunity to relieve myself of oppressive clothing and stretch out on the bed. Then I waited.

After a long while he stepped back into the room and commented, "I didn't say you could stay."

"Do you want me to go?"

"Yes," he replied quickly. "No, you can stay if you let me meditate in peace. I really need to clear my head."

"I can help you with that."

"I mean it, Misha."

"Yes, Lev," I agreed.

Nalev sat on the floor with his back turned to me. As the wind moved the shadows around the room I listened for the faint sound of his exhalation.

I'd lived with him long enough to know how long it takes to cover all of the obligatory rites, and when he was merely avoiding me. In this case, it was the latter. I got out of bed and quietly sat on the ground with my back to him. He was only able to remain quiet for a short while.

"Misha!" He snapped.

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't have to say anything. You ruined my concentration."

"Since when is 'poet' and insult?"

Lev chuckled. "It's not. You have a wonderful voice for poetry."

"Then why do you never let me read Jaun-Sei?"

"It's not quite the same hearing you read my grandfather's words."

I leaned against him and rubbed my head against the side of his neck. "Come to bed, Lev."

End of Part 1

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"Everything will be different now" from Fen's Memoirs

2010-01-20T09:33:00.002-05:00

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The days seemed long at Gelassi, not to mention hot and dusty. In our attempts to reunite an extended family of fighters and clergy left with no one to serve and no other place to go it seemed that only the most opinionated and undiplomatic people of the three realms were sent there to establish a new order. Tironik was placed in command by Queen Naeri from the time the holy war's end. My position was to assist him in any way possible which usually meant breaking up the verbal rampages between Misha and Vay who were the primary voices of the two factions.

Nalev and D'Hir provided as much support as they could but the people, by and large, were slow to change their opinion of the Houseborne and were more than willing to let them be the problem of someone else. Since Gelassi was expanding westward through the legal purchase of farm land and even hunting grounds, the problem became my father's.

It had been weeks since Roarke left on his quest to bring order to the universe. Eyre Nalev had pulled through nicely after his near death experience and was ever sharing his years of wisdom with young Prince D'Hir. As for myself, even though I tried to avoid it, I was the third wheel to Misha and Tironik. It was really Tironik's doing. He feared the repercussions of their relationship since it didn't fit at all into the social structure of Kanabulan politics and was flew in the face of his overly stated position of love, adoration and undying devotion to his mistress the Queen.

A messenger found me while I was assisting Tironik with the delivery of Gelassi's first born child. As if I were not already feeling overly emotional, it was news from Roarke. At Tironik's insistence I waited for Misha who was finalizing the purchase of a large chunk of farmland. I quickly gathered my traveling clothes and all the money I had in my possession and sat and patiently waited for Misha's return that evening.

It was late when we arrived at the Inn of the Teapot. We went upstairs and judging by the commotion inside, it was not difficult to tell where they were staying. There was no answer when I knocked on the door, but we entered anyway. Eburgistraten, who I had not seen in many, many years failed to recognize me in his inebriated state. He was quite disheveled and cavorting with a good number of women, all of whom were expecting a sizable portion of the money I carried. Although the room was small it was so densely packed with flesh that it took me a few moments to realize Roarke was not present.

I turned back into the hallway just as he was returning. "Fen," he said awkwardly holding out his hands for me. "I was waiting for your downstairs, but you didn't notice me."

"Roarke." I placed the money in his hands. While I was relieved to see him well, it had been almost four months since he left with Paynor.

"I told the cook to send up something for you. It should be here soon." He paused.

"Hello, Misha."

"Your Highness," Misha responded politely.

Suddenly the room grew more quiet and one by one the women exited. Burgi had passed out with his head and upper torso hanging off the bed. At least we had some privacy to talk. Roarke sat on Burgi's bed and I removed my cloak and sat on the other bed.

"I'll go downstairs and see to the food," Misha excused himself.

"It's good to see you, Fen." He said warmly.

"I trust your mission went well."

"It did."

"What happened?"

"There's not much to tell really," he said as he scratched one side of his beard. "We went through the portal and immediately entered this all-encompassing white barrier. It was warm and bright and filled me with such peacefulness that it lulled me to sleep. When I awoke, unaware of how much time had passed, Ebugistraten had found me and Paynor was gone."

"An epic journey across time and space, and you spend it in slumber?"

"Asleep or awake, the outcome speaks for itself." Roarke's tone lightened, "Quite relieved that it's over with."

"He must remember something more."

"Perhaps. He's been preoccupied with making up for lost time. Tell me, how is Nalev?"

"Recovering nicely from his fall and is ever at D'Hir's side."

"Are they getting along well?"

I laughed. "Not according to the letters Misha receives from Nalev."

"I've missed your smile, Fen."

"I was afraid I'd never see you again. Considering how we left things--" I started defensively.

"I'm sorry, Fen, for everything. D'Hir confided in me about Dophe's involvement in Paynor's rise to power. As long as there was a chance that you and Neopar were co-conspirators, I had my doubts about you."

"What changed your mind? Was it Paynor?"

"I asked your mother to acquire the ring from Dophe and hide it with the things we brought from your quarters in Belaurii."

"Yes..."

"When you wrote to me, I felt that you were manipulating me by telling me what I wanted to hear. Then you showed up pregnant and I never asked... "

"It was Neopar's."

"And he didn't want you to end up like Delcine." Roarke paused. "But what changed my mind was when your mother told me about how you kept my letters and shirt all tucked away in a locked drawer. You couldn't have intended for me to know that. That was something private, yet so telling. I swear to you, Fen, I won't doubt you again. Everything will be different now."

"Of course it will be different now," Eburgistraten said as he stirred in his bed. "Where is everybody? Is that you, Fenaway?"

His voice was more hushed and he had a broad as he pulled on some clothing before walking over to me.

"How's my plump little potato?"

He gave me a hug so hard that I feared my ribs would break. "It's good to see you, too, Burgi." I took a deep breath after he let me go. "I was sure you'd be out until morning."

"Nonsense, Fenaway. Just needed to catch a few winks. Let me look at you. What a beautiful young woman you've become. Tell me I haven't missed the wedding? We've all waited so long for you and D'Hir to become married."

I looked at Roarke. "Hasn't Roarke told you--"

"Well, there's obviously so much for us to discuss," Roarke hesitated awkwardly and was much relieved at the return of Misha with the food.

We washed some dust from our hands and face from the ride before being seated. Burgi talked for hours telling us about the horrors that unfolded before the king-making. Finally, weariness won out and we began negotiating sleeping arrangements. Thanks to Roarke, my guardian still had the misplaced belief that D'Hir and I were betrothed. He further complicated the situation by his flat out refusal to share a bed with a page. As usual, I wound up with Misha.

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Lady T'Nal, by Misha

2010-01-17T20:26:00.021-05:00

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My new life at the T'Nal's country estate was in a word: odd. There were one hundred and fifty rooms in the estate but very few resided there other than Lord Delrek, Zbinka, myself and about thirty servants including some with families. Lord Delrek T'Nal occupied the main wing of the mansion and remained remarkably aloof, though I know for a fact that he was kept surprisingly well-informed about his daughter's intrigues. Many years before, his outbreaks in the presence of King Dalma and the Council got him thrown out of the court. Lord Delrek had warned that the House was growing too powerful and that such an inequity of power would tear Eltesnia apart. As it turned out, he was right.

Guests were always wandering in and out and Zbinka was insistent that I make a proper impression. To that end, she worked diligently to indoctrinate me to the fine arts of social grace and political intrigue. She liked to flatter me by saying that I had the face and voice for both.

First she busied herself with my appearance and took great delight in filling my wardrobes with the finest and possibly most uncomfortable fashion that her money could buy. When I complained to her she straightened my shirt and told me that there were more important things in life than comfort.

"I don't want to be here," I complained and started biting my fingernails.

Zbinka flashed me a very cold look and I stopped. Then her face immediately warmed again. "You haven't had a chance to appreciate the enormity of the situation and your role in it. I need you to work with me, Misha."

Standing very close to me she scrutinized my every detail. She placed both hands on my face and almost seemed to look though me as though she were an artist looking at a blank canvas. Of course at the time I took her actions for something completely different.

"Could you not do that?" I asked politely.

"I think you need a beard. It would make you look older. More seasoned and steady."

"Excuse me?" I blurted out.

She laughed. "My dear Misha. While I may admire Lev's impeccable taste, you are far too young and head-strong for my liking." Then stepping back she noticed what I was attempting to conceal with my hands. "Perhaps a nice walk across the grounds would do you some good."

While her second objective was originally dining etiquette, she immediately decided that a lesson in self-control was long over due. She told me to meet her outside in the courtyard once I composed myself.

Outside she took me by the arm and began instilling in me the importance of propriety, or at least creating and maintaining the illusion of it. It was a lengthy lecture. Upon its conclusion I muttered, "Looks as though I get neutered after all."

"Misha, you're completely missed my point. Need I start over from the beginning?"

"Please, no," I sighed wondering if Lev was as truly miserable as I.

"Darling, you're just a great big ball of sexual energy and I assure you society will not tolerate that. Not from me and certainly not from a Houseborne."

"I really--"

"I know these people, Misha. A few of them I actually like and respect. But they will use you and cast you aside, and you will only succeed in hampering our cause."

"I have no interest in--"

"You should and you will," she proclaimed.

If Zbinka was adept at anything it was discretion. While we went back to the previously postponed lessons in dining etiquette, then on to dancing and horsemanship, I was never able to determine who exactly she was involved with, from among all of the house guests that spent the night, and it became a strange fascination of mine to figure out.

After a number of months of thinking about not thinking about sex I began having my own discreet encounters with some of the servants. What about Lev, you ask? Did he stay away for that long and became so completely far from my thoughts? No. Quite the contrary. He did visit his new home periodically, but the position had changed him. He was congenial enough with me but would always retire with Lady T'Nal. That wasn't the arrangement I had bargained for at all. Any attempt to confront Lev ended with him telling me that I had no idea what he was going through.

Being so thoroughly distanced from the one person I loved most, I threw my energy into becoming a much better student to my new mentor. Before long I was being led through society on Lady T'Nal's arm and causing every bit the stir for which she prepared me.

***

As time passed Lord Delrek became more and more reclusive. Since I hadn't known him in any other capacity I could only tell by the effect it had on Zbinka, who was rarely permitted entrance into his wing. Just under the surface of the vivacious, elegant composure with which she beguiled throngs of Eltesnia's elite was a woman terrified and helpless to stop her father's descent into the darkness. It came as little shock to her that he would poison himself; it was the socially acceptable conclusion. But it wasn't acceptable to Zbinka.

While her servants busy themselves with the details of a glorious send off for Lord Delrek T'Nal, Zbinka sat herself down with a bottle of strong drink and asked me to join her. It wasn't the time to object that I was forbidden from touching the stuff, so I agreed and tried to nurse my first glass as long as possible as she laid waste to the rest of the bottle. I had seen her handle much more than that at a party without so much as slurring one word as she debated politics with society's finest. She opened the second bottle and topped off my glass. She didn't want to talk, or to listen. She only wanted something to stop the pain.

We were awoken the next morning by a blinding explosion of light as someone opened the drapes in her bedroom. I remember thinking that servant deserved to be flogged until my eyes focused on the perpetrator. It was Lev.

"Your guests are arriving, Binky," he said calmly as he looked out the window.

I expected him to say something more, but he did not. Carefully averting his eyes from me, he waited patiently for Zbinka to dress so he could be the compassionate, dutiful husband and escort her downstairs.

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Alliances, by Misha

2010-01-16T21:15:00.031-05:00

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By twenty years of age not only was I the oldest page in Eltesnian military history but I had surpassed my Eyre in both height and weight, so much so that I more closely resembled body guard than scribe. I was continually frustrated by my inability to take up arms in battle, but there were limits even to what Lev and Vay could get away with despite their influence with the King.

Yearly, Lev received the highly coveted invitation to participate in the Re-enactment of Entrapment. Despite the great honor he was recalcitrant. Clearly he had no intentions of getting naked and fornicating in the presence of the likes of Savlii and Paynor. It was one of those rare topics that we agreed on. Occasionally he would be invited to attend a royal birthday or wedding as was the case when Prince Roarke married Princess Adelaide of Belaurii.

The Prince looked anything but happy, which was no great surprise knowing his penchant for moodiness. He met his bride once or twice before the ceremony when they were both quite young. Her older sister Dophe was jilted at the altar by Prince Eburgistraten of Kanabulan when he entered into a secret alliance with Vay and King Dalma. Though Roarke knew little about the details, he was somewhat hopeful that years of clandestine planning would result in the freeing of the Lane in our time. That Roarke could be hopeful about anything was a remarkable feat in itself.

Dophe survived her first matrimonial disappointment by marrying her cousin Neopar from the Lesser house of Belaurii. The Lesser house was comprised of the relatives of exiled poet Jaun Sei most of whom now lived near the southern border with Eltesnia. Many presumed that the King was using Dophe to foster the allegiance of the "rebel blood". Dophe it seemed was more interested on flirting shamelessly with Councilman Paynor; her husband was much too distracted by every pretty face that walked by to take much notice.

Neopar's wandering eyes made it impossible to be flattered that he cast any attention toward me even though I must admit to complaining to Lev that I was the most under-dressed guest at the celebration. Even the dress uniform of a page screams perfunctory and pragmatic and I was humbled to be caught in the same drab clothing as Savlii's new boy, the second since I left his service.

I was soon distracted from my pettiness by the handle of Lev's cane as it slid along the inside of my thigh. After an eternity of watching Lev feign listening to the Halvren brothers riveting hunting stories, the King's cousin Lady Zbinka of T'Nal approached our table. Lady Halvren exchanged a curt greeting with Zbinka and excused herself. Lord Halvren smiled warmly and gave up his seat before vanishing into the crowd with his wife.

Zbinka was an odd contradiction, both refined and boisterous, her presence was felt when she walked into any room, and she would have it no other way. Approaching thirty and never married, she seemed to instantly get it in her head that Lev would make a good husband and proposed to him on the spot. The Erye told her that he was flattered by her offer, but that her interests would be better suited with another choice.

"My apologies, Erye Nalev," Zbinka started with a coy smile. "I have caught you at the disadvantage that you know little of me, while I know everything about you. Would you care to talk somewhere more private?"

Her father Lord Delrick had been thrown out of the Court years before for threatening that the heavy-handed authority of the House would tear apart the kingdom. It didn't seem that Lev needed to know more than that and his reply was a very polite "no." Zbinka perservered and persuaded both of us to join her in a quiet study. She explained, in great detail, her activities over the years in protest of the dehumanization of the Houseborne class. There had been rumors of her involvement for years, especially in the kidnappings of Houseborne males from their foster homes and subsequent placement elsewhere-- allegations that if proven would lead to her execution, royalty or not.

Lev thanked her for placing her trust in him but didn't see the benefit in an alliance. Clearly, she did and continued in her negotiations.

"Erye Nalev, you have become larger than life in your quiet yet subversive manner and put a face on a cause so many of us secretly defend. The two of you have broken infraction after infraction of the outdated and abhorrent code of conduct regarding the Houseborne and have managed to remain relatively unscathed. Alone, I'm not sure how much longer we can defy the system. Together, we represent a very powerful alliance that takes us much closer to the realization of our goals."

I wasn't aware that we had any such lofty goals, at least not before that night. But Zbinka made her impression on Nalev and before year's end he sought the blessings of the House for their union. As the figure head of authority for both the clerical and political power that Zbinka sought to challenge, Vay was wary of Lady T'Nal, but confident of Nalev's ability to control her. Control Zbinka? Vay may have been very wise, but she certainly didn't spend enough time with Zbinka if she thought that anyone could control her-- let alone Lev.

Lev and Zbinka had a spectacular wedding then vanished for a brief honeymoon, which consisted primarily of strategic planning both day and night between the three of us. As if vacationing with my lover and his new bride wasn't awkward enough, I always felt her gaze upon me.

The marriage seemed to signify a change with Savlii and he resumed his vocal attacks on Lev. We often played cards together, and since Lev had such terrible difficulty in reading, or so he was still claiming, I got to play his hands. Unlike Lev, I always won which added to Savlii's dissatisfaction.

"I can not believe you make me play with a page," Savlii huffed.

"I can not believe that you always lose to a page," Nalev scoffed.

"I don't know what you're trying to prove, Nalev. Your behavior lacks any semblance of propriety and can not be overlooked for much longer. Your familiarity with this man is an abomination."

"Unlike your familiarity with a child?"

"You've taken a military institution and made a complete mockery of it. You're entitled to a page, Eyre Nalev, not a wife."

"Actually, I'm entitled to both and have done a reasonable job in keeping both satisfied. Which is more than I can say for your relationships. Who was it your wife ran off with again? Your brother, as I recall."

"Mock me if you will. I will see you driven out of the army," Savlii said and got up, his young page shuffling after him.

"Eyre Savlii, aren't you forgetting something?" Lev asked.

Savlii threw some money down on the table and left. It was always good to see him leave.

As it turned out taunting the superior officer, though immediately rewarding was not beneficial in the long run. The political climate of Eltesnia and especially within the high court of Cznorh was changing, distancing itself from the powerful intrusion of the House while elevating the authority of the King's Council. King Dalma vehemently opposed this shift from the start, but he was swayed over time by the pervasive efforts of those closest to him. The direct ramification for us was that Nalev's ties to the House mattered less and less. And Savlii was poised for retribution.

Lev was promoted to the Office of Disciplinary Affairs which had the dubious honor of trying and executing all offenders of Houseborne misconduct, including infractions perpetrated by Eltesnian citizens. Savlii took enormous satisfaction in knowing that his nemesis spent every waking hour treading lightly with his personal life while being forced to uphold a system that he despised. I remained with Lev as his secretary for a number of months before he had a sudden miraculous recovery with his eye sight and sent me to live with Zbinka as her guard.

Lev had been responsible for my intellectual and emotional rebirth. Lady T'Nal had other aspirations for me, as I would soon find out.

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Hmm...You can get there from here.

2010-01-09T07:13:00.000-05:00

An Epic Soap Opera (WIP)

More death than an Italian opera,
more "pas de trois" than ballet.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Begin here:
Chapter 1

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Love it or hate it, Open Comments are encouraged.

Convalescence, by Misha

2010-01-07T09:32:00.040-05:00

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My service to Savlii had ended. Vay did her best to comfort me but I hardly heard a word she was saying. I was far too anxiety-ridden about my immediate future as I sat there concentrating on the tiny crunching sound emanating from inside my head as I gnawed off every last fingernail. A woman came to get Vay and they disappeared leaving me all alone in her quarters. I tried to resign myself to my new life. It was quite an opportunity for a page. Normally only Houseborne soldiers who had either sustained significant injury or simply grown too old to fight were admitted to academic pursuits. And, yes, even they were subject to becoming an eunuch first. Eltesnia certainly couldn't afford to have an educated and well-fed bastard class spawning their discontentment at the expense of the winning the Holy War against Kanabulan.

Vay returned what seemed an eternity later. Her lips moved; eventually her words began to register once I noticed that she was smiling. It seemed that Lev had challenged Savlii to a game of cards and made him an offer far too tempting to pass up: he wagered his title as general against my transference to him. Because everyone in the hospital knew Lev to be one of the worst card players of all time, Savlii accepted and expected quick, satisfying victory. I should have liked very much to have been there to see the look on his face when Lev beat him.

That is how an unbelievably handsome valiant young general had risked his career to acquire me but didn't have a bloody clue what to do with me. Every attempt to comfort or assist him in any capacity was immediately thwarted. He insisted on dressing himself even though he could barely stand on his bad leg. I tried to work with him in his rehabilitation but he coldly informed me that was the job of his doctors and nurses. He was very proud and equally frustrated that his convalescence should take so long. I kept my distance from him and even found myself almost fondly reminiscent of the hairy beast that smelled of rotten cheese, at least until he would pay his next visit accompanied with his new page. Had I ever been as young and innocent as the lanky freckle-faced boy that now hung on his every word and gesture?

Other than Savlii and his new boy, Lev was visited regularly by a gaggle of priestesses, artists and scholars. Vay herself generally joined us for mid-day and evening meals when she wasn't tending to matters in the House. Most people loved Nalev. He was a phenomenal listener which somehow made him seem much wiser than his years.

Without any duties to speak of I spent much of my time sweeping the floor and dusting all the plants. Occasionally Lev would glance over at me but tended to be silent unless he was entertaining company. The only company I disliked were the priestesses. Savlii came to bark at Lev and criticize Vay, but the ladies of the House were too familiar with Lev from his days serving as High Priest and many seemed just as likely to jump into bed with him as shake his hand upon greeting him.

To take my mind away from the absurdity of my situation, I confiscated some paper left on the table, picked up a pen and began to draw the incredibly shiny plants. By my own estimation, I wasn't that bad so I kept drawing. Soon I attempted Lev.

"What's bothering you, Misha?" Lev asked peering over the top of his book.

"Nothing," I said and continued to draw.

"You're moping around like a dejected child."

I looked up from my drawing. By now he was staring me down not in an angry way but in a very determined way none the less. It was hardly in keeping with my standing as page to speak let alone release the tirade that ensued. When I finally I stopped talking I remember feeling much relieved. Then there was the silence. A terrible silence that slapped me back to reality.

Lev raised on eyebrow, paused then said, "You're jealous."

"That's a ridiculous thing to say!" I protested. It was a ridiculous thing to say but far more ridiculous that it was true.

"The priestesses are merely assisting in my rehabilitation. After spending a few years with Savlii I suspect a little rehabilitation would do you some good as well."

He laughed at me then went back to his book and I to my drawing. At least I pretended to draw. Before too long he hobbled out of bed to sit near me at the table.

"I knew I was good-looking, but that really is remarkable," he said with a wide grin.

"Thank you," I said staring intently at the drawing. His kicked his good leg next to mine and it startled me causing me drop my pen.

"You are jealous," he said leaning toward me. "That's sweet."

I assumed that he was mocking me until he kissed me and I felt his fingertips digging into my thigh. I savored every turn of his mouth and the warmth of his breath on my face, yet each action, glance or word seemed to be a contradiction of the one before. Pausing for a moment I rested my forehead against his and bit down hard on my lip.

"I don't know what you want, Lev," I confessed.

There was another long and terribly awkward pause before he banged his head against mine a few times hoping to knock some sense into me, "When you figure it out, let me know."

I picked up my pen from the floor and set it gently, quietly onto the table. Lev sat back in his chair and began looking through my other drawings. One in particular was a very elaborate map I was working on. I had tried to remember every detail of "No Man's Land" from my time with Savlii.

"You know how to write." Lev looked up from the map and gazed at me more with contemplation than consternation. I sat motionless as my heart and mind began to race. There was no use in denying it-- even if, unlike jealousy, it was a grave offense.

"Can you read?" Nalev asked.

"It is forbidden..." I stammered.

"Answer the damn question, Misha."

"Yes," I admitted quietly fixating on some dust on the plant on the table.

"Who taught you?"

"I'd rather not say."

"You have a problem with following rules," Nalev observed. "Did Savlii know?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Then why would he be so set on sending you off to become headmaster?"

"I can assure you that he never discussed any of his motivations with me."

He studied the map a while longer and a pleased look came across his face, "You did all this from memory?"

"I spent a lot of time there. I really couldn't help picking up the names of the places."

"How far from Kestri to Nethua?" He asked.

"Fifteen miles."

"Nethua to Cznorh?"

"47 miles."

"Ravnesh to Mt. Vondra?"

"101 miles." I paused. "Unless it's the wet season and the northeastern section of the Ibiere swells so badly that you need to go via Timbledown. Then it becomes 132 miles."

"Bring me that dark green book over there." He pointed to a book on the shelf next to the large window.

"General Asden's Journal?" I asked.

"It's a green book surrounded by green foliage, yet you know exactly which one I'm talking about?"

"I must have noticed it when I was taking care of the plants."

"You've been reading my books," he accused.

"No." It was the truth. I had read many of Savlii's books when he was out of sight. Other than Lev's books of poetry, their collections were about the same.

"Just bring me the book," he said waving off my excuses.

I set the book in front of him and he opened it to one of Asden's maps of "No Man's Land". He compared it with mine for a few moments then pointed to the spot on mine just southeast of where the Gadler joins up with the much larger Ibiere.

"What's here?" Lev asked.

"Gelassi?" I asked in reply.

"You didn't include it."

"I'm wasn't finished with the map."

"There's not so much as a dot."

"There's not very much there. Most of it was destroyed when the Great Quiet ended."

"So many legends of gold and gems, but treasure hunters didn't dare disturb the finest farmland in three countries. Only war would be foolhardy enough for that," he said under his breath.

"You've been there?"

"When the great poet Jaun Sei was exiled from Belaurii for his satire he bought some land in Gelassi and married the neighboring farmer's daughter, thinking it would be good for someone to know a thing or two about agriculture. He had nine sons and five daughters. When his wife's father died he inherited his sizable and more profitable farm securing the futures of his children. Jaun Sei's third oldest son was named Waelin; Waelin was my father."

He turned to the start of Asden's account then he had me read aloud, but proceeded to interrupt me at the slightest infraction of mispronunciation, tone or diction. I had learned from my foster sister, a mere child that had put herself at great risk by disobeying the law. Serena was my sole friend and only comfort those long seven years when I was raised by her drunkard father. Now I was being challenged by a overzealous intellectual task master. Writing would prove even more painful as I routinely received a crack over the hand if I appeared to lose interest and concentration.

"Why does it have to be perfect?" I protested.

"Because, Misha, I will not have you handling my correspondences in a shoddy manner. I am in need of a secretary. I find that I have great difficulty reading since the accident."

"I haven't noticed."

"Are you telling me what I see, Misha?" He glared at me.

"No, of course not, Erye Nalev. However, I think you would be better suited by a proper secretary. I hardly think using your page--"

"I have no need of a page!" Nalev said crossly.

"Yes, Erye Nalev."

I clearly remember wanting to take that stick away from him and bash him over the head on occasions too numerous to recollect over those long, grueling months at the hospital. Clearly Lev was testing my mettle yet he gave no indication as to how I was doing. While it was terribly frustrating it was also challenging and flattering that he spent so much of his time tormenting me.

***

We had finally entered the last stretch of Lev's recovery where he got to shed the awful leg contraption for good and began to walk about with only a cane. It seemed that he was in more pain than usual because of his increased activity, but he was in much better spirits and he pushed himself much harder than even his doctors would have liked.

Late one morning, after a long walk and longer swim, we returned to our quarters to get ready for lunch. While changing he lost his balance and he actually thanked me for steadying him. Only a month before he would have sooner hit the floor than accept my help.

"Misha, you would make a fine headmaster." He sat down on at the foot of his bed and stretched his leg with a slight grimace. "If you had the chance, would you do it?"

"Go to the academy?"

"Yes."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"You're really far to intelligent to make a good lap dog. I'd have no trouble getting you in. There's really no way around the nasty entrance requirement."

"You're asking me if I'd rather be castrated or be your page?"

"Companion," he corrected.

I studied his face for any expression, but he was holding back so as not to influence my decision. My decision? For the first time in my life I had a choice. It wasn't even a small and insignificant choice like what time I awoke or what I'd wear for the day.

"Do I have to give you my answer now, or can I think about it?"

"Take all the time you need."

"I'll stay," I replied.

"You're sure?"

"After all these months of testing, was that the right answer?"

"I don't know if it's the right answer, but it was the answer I was hoping for."

I carefully pinned him to the bed and kissed him. He protested ever so slightly that the timing was wrong and endeavored to work harder to convince him otherwise. Absolutely nothing was going to interrupt us this time. Not him. Not me.

But the knock on the door was another matter completely. It wasn't one of those just ignore them and they'll think no one's home sort of knocks. It was Vay telling us that the King and Prince had finally arrived.

"Finally?!" I looked at Lev. "You knew they were coming?"

"I told you it wasn't the right time."

"But the bloody King?! Didn't you think that was important to mention?" I straightened my clothes and ran my fingers through my hair. "How do I look?"

"If you didn't look so damn good we wouldn't be having this argument in the first place," he muttered. "Would you please relax."

I finally understood what it was about Lev that so infuriated Savlii; Lev was impetuous and reckless. While I found those traits quite endearing I was far too young and smitten to foresee that I'd spend the rest of my life bailing him out of dire situations.

There was another set of knocks at the door and Lev answered it, smiling warmly. Even with all of the visitors that came and went, I was flabbergasted to witness King Dalma and young Prince Roarke walk through the door.

King Dalma was a large man with dark features. His wore the dress uniform of the King's Army, with just enough gaudy embellishment to stand out. He had served as his father before him and his before that. The difference was that Dalma didn't have the benefit of serving during the Great Quiet-- a truce that lasted for nearly 75 years -- and he had battle scars to prove it.

The Prince looked to be about my age. His complexion was lighter than his father's but his expression much darker. He wore the plain robes of the priesthood, the type generally worn while performing manual labor around the hospital but also used during mourning. In his case, it was the latter as his only sister had poisoned herself earlier that same year.

King Dalma embraced Lev in a very ceremonious way then helped him to his seat at the table before sitting down.

"Did we call at a bad time?" The King asked.

"It is always a pleasure to be in the presence of our Most Illustrious Majesties." Lev replied and smiled at the Prince. "And how is my star pupil doing today?"

"Fine, Eyre Nalev." Roarke's face was sullen and voice unconvincing.

"King Dalma, Prince Roarke, allow me to introduce... " Lev started.

"As if you're not already the talk of the whole court and army. Oh the earful I get from Paynor. He and Savlii would like nothing more than to see you horsewhipped, thrown out of the army, killed then horsewhipped some more."

"Fortunately for me your cousin doesn't rule the country." Lev said smugly.

"And he never will," Dalma promised. "How are you doing, Lev?"

"I am improving every day and should like very much if you could use your persuasion with Vay to have me released for duty soon."

"In due time, Lev. Besides if you hurry off who's going to finish teaching Roarke Ancient Dzai in time for his first Re-enactment?"

"This is the big year." Lev looked at the Prince who had a blank expression. "I assume you're concerned with more than general pronunciation," he said with a knowing look to the father.

"He'll be staying here until the beginning of Purlong. Do have him ready by then," Dalma patted Lev's hand and winked at him. "Make me proud. It's Paynor's turn to attend this year and I intend to remind him whose side of the family is in power," he said as he left the room.

"Well, grab your books from the shelf and have a seat, Prince Roarke."

It was unheard of for a page to sit down with royalty, let alone study with them but Lev was more than accommodating and the Prince couldn't have cared less. Before too terribly long Lev picked up his stick and cracked it over the Prince's writing hand. I didn't do a good enough job at stifling my laughter and both Lev and Roarke shot me an angry look before they, too, began to laugh. For the Prince it was actually more of an exasperated sigh that escaped through clenched teeth. As for me, it grew into a hearty belly laugh as I finally caught the innuendo between the King and Lev. The gaggle of priestesses would be far too busy acclimating Roarke for the less cerebral requirements of the Re-enactment to bother themselves with Lev. My life, though from perfect, had become quite tolerable.

***

The Re-enactment of Entrapment was the most highly revered tenant of the Dzai religion and also the greatest fundraiser for the House. While active participants were almost exclusively either royalty or wealthy landowners, merchants and humble politicians outbid each other for the highly coveted spectator booths. By the sheer definition of the word, it was an orgy, but a fully-orchestrated and efficiently synchronized orgy. It was considered very lucky to be conceived during the Re-enactment. Personally, I never saw the benefit of it. My mother was one of a few hundred prostitutes, it was against House custom to reveal her identity, and my father was some rich influential man with no concern for either of us. Prince Roarke and I were born within a week of each other and I had the nagging curiosity as to whether or not we were related and wound up at the opposite ends of society.

Prince Roarke was brilliant, intellectually speaking, and I enjoyed the debates he and Lev would have about the ancient texts. There were times that his mood would lift, usually after spending some time with Renet Palidora, a saucy and curvaceous red head, with who he had become quite smitten. Even so when Purlong came along I knew I'd miss his company.

Next ->

A Sudsy Barbaric Farce

2009-12-26T20:15:00.002-05:00

All Too Familiar, by Misha

2009-12-24T18:08:00.013-05:00

<- Previous

While en route to Kanabulan, we had the occasion to visit the Hot Springs of Ur, and I wasted no time shedding my dusty travel clothes and settled in for some long-overdue relaxation. A few moments later I was joined by Fen who lowered herself into the water complaining that it was too hot. Eburgistraten came running from the large rock where he set his clothes and jumped in with a hearty yell. Only Roarke had misgivings about joining us and he paced uncomfortably at a respectable distance.

Eventually Eburgistraten was able to persuade the reluctant king to remove his shoes and put his legs into the water which brought him closer to the conversation. Unfortunately the topic soon veered from saving the world to honoring the betrothal contract between Fen and D’Hir.

“And once I’m in Kanabulan I’ll get started with the plans. What better way to proclaim the unification of our countries than a wedding,” Eburgistraten proclaimed.

Fen looked to Roarke to say something, but he was silent. Eburgistraten also wanted his contribution to the matter.

Roarke managed a compliant, “Yes.”

I knew it wouldn’t be long before Fen voiced her concerns. Surprisingly, all of her objections were nullified by her guardian. Whatever involvements she had would be forgiven when she chose to honor the betrothal. Forgiven? Due to her respect for Burgi she chose not to lash out at him. I don’t think any other man would have gotten away with that comment. I decided to interject.

“What the two of you seem to be over-looking is the fact that legally Fen is my wife,” I stated firmly.

“To you,” Eburgistraten dismissed my comment with a roll of his eyes. “A simple annulment will take care of that.”

“I have no intention of agreeing to an annulment. Without either my willingness or Fen’s, I don’t believe you can proceed.”

“Why involve yourself in this, Misha? It’s not like you can prove you’ve consummated…” Roarke began.

“Actually we can. You fail to recognize just how familiar the court of Belaurii has been with us.”

Roarke said in disgust, “You expect me to believe that you have witnesses?”

“Yes.” I confirmed.

Roarke stood and walked far away from us. Eburgistraten slowly got out of the water. “Well, that does seem to complicate the matter.”

Fen turned to me and thanked me for defending her honor.

“To be sure, Princess, it is those men that would defend your honor. I choose to defend your interests.”

Next ->

2009-11-28T13:00:00.005-05:00

I hated Lev in the beginning. Savlii was a demanding bastard who went through pages like shoes - seemed all the fun was in the breaking in phase. I had been hand-picked by the priestess Vay when I was only fourteen and hardly just begun my military training. Life with Savlii was simple, not good, just simple and predictable. The directive of a page is service to his Eyre. Unlike other Houseborne males, pages are forbidden from taking up arms in battle. There was nothing lower in Eltesnian society than a page. Even a convicted murderer, as a proper Eltesnian citizen, far outranked a page. I hated Vay for dooming me to an even lower fate than my birth itself had, but I soon hated Lev even more.

For a couple of years I deemed myself quite the efficient page, following Savlii day and night. I was silent and sturdy, but mainly silent as Savlii was not fond of my voice. In all fairness, he wouldn't have cared very much for what I had to say.

Meanwhile Nalev received a serious injury to his left leg when he was knocked down then trampled by his own horse in battle. His convalescence was painful and slow. The House bestowed upon him the title of Eyre, but at his tender age it only increased further accusations of favoritism from the clergy. Savlii despised him and openly mocked him as a pampered upstart, a puppet of the House. To him it was a great outrage that a priest would be made Erye. Lev was not part of our bastard class but rather brought in as an orphan when he was about ten years of age. His parents and older sister were butchered when fighting resumed as the seventy year peace of the Great Quiet came to an abrupt end.

Like it or not, as Lev's superior officer, Erye Savlii was responsible for getting Nalev back on his feet and into action. We visited him frequently to check on his progress. Months dragged on and Savlii felt that Nalev was fit for duty. As the high priestess and highest authority in the holy war it was Vay, and Vay alone, that was expecting no less than a full and complete recovery, no matter how long it took.

My efficiency and familiarity were my undoing with Savlii and, bored of my companionship, he was eager to trade me in for a newer, prettier face. The bright spot in the transfer from position of page was that he would recommend me for training to become school master at the military academy. The bugger of the whole promotion was that a former page must first become an eunuch. As if that weren't bad enough, it would also preclude me from serving in the army proper. Since I had no say in the entire matter, I made my peace with my fate.

Savlii, and by extension I, paid another visit to Nalev at the hospital. After their typical banter, Lev suggested that they play cards and made him an offer far too tempting to pass up. Lev wagered his title for my transference to him. Knowing Lev as one of the worst card players of all time, Savlii accepted. He expected quick, satisfying victory. Until my dying day I will never forget the look of shock and disbelief when he lost.

"I don't know how you did it, Nalev," Savlii warned, "but you'll get what's coming to you. I swear the boy will be your ruination."

Savlii marched off in a huff, leaving me behind. As a page I rarely had the opportunity to speak, and had certainly never spoken with Nalev in all the visits Savlii and I made to the hospital, for that would have been seen as a major insult to authority.

"Very fortunate that you won, Erye Nalev, else I suspect there would two more eunuchs at the academy."

"I had no intention of losing, Misha." He said with a grin.

An unbelievably handsome valiant young general had risked his career to acquire me but didn't have a bloody clue what to do with me. Every attempt to comfort or assist him in any capacity was immediately thwarted. He insisted on dressing himself even though he could barely stand on his bad leg. I tried to work with him in his rehabilitation but he coldly informed me that was the job of his doctors and nurses. He was very proud and equally frustrated that his recovery should take so long. I kept my distance from him and even found myself almost fondly reminiscent of the hairy beast that smelled of rotten cheese, at least until he would pay his next visit accompanied with his new page. Had I ever been as young and innocent as the lanky freckle-faced boy that now hung on his every word and gesture?

My new Eyre accused me of moping about like a dejected child and asked me what I could possibly have to be upset about. It certainly wasn't in keeping with my position to answer at all, let alone let loose the tirade that ensued about how at least I'd have something useful to do with myself if I were back at the academy. He looked at me crossly and I was overcome with panic.

"I have all the men I want, and have little need of a page!" He roared.

"I'm sorry, Erye Nalev, if I misunderstood..."

He gazed at me now with more contemplation than consternation. I stood motionless, heart racing through the unnerving silence.

"Can you read?" Nalev asked.

"It is forbidden..."I stammered.

"Answer the damn question, Misha."

"Yes," I admitted quietly, my eyes looking away.

"Who taught you?"

"I'd rather not say."

"You have a problem with following rules," Nalev said bluntly.

"I shall endeavor to follow your command without question, Eyre Nalev."

"I very much doubt that." He said with a wry look on his face as he pointed to a book on the table.

Then he had me read aloud, while he interrupted at the slightest infraction of mispronunciation, tone and diction. I had learned from my foster sister, a mere child that had put herself at great risk by disobeying the law. Serena was my sole friend and only comfort those long seven years when I was raised by her father, a cold-hearted drunkard. Now I was being challenged by a overzealous intellectual task master. Writing proved even more painful and I routinely received a crack over the hand if I appeared to lose interest and concentration.

"Why does it have to be perfect?" I asked.

"Because, Misha, I will not have you handling my correspondences in a shoddy manner. I am in need of a secretary. I find that I have great difficulty reading since the accident."

"I haven't noticed."

"Are you telling me what I see, Misha?" He glared at me with those penetrating blue eyes.

"No, of course not. That would be extremely pretentious, Erye Nalev. However, I think you would be better suited by a proper secretary. I hardly think using your page--"

"It's bad enough I have to share tight quarters with one man." Nalev said bluntly.

"Yes, Erye Nalev."

I clearly remember wanting to take that stick away from him and bash him over the head, on occasions too numerous to recollect over those long, grueling months at the hospital.

I was amazed at how quickly those feelings diminished once Lev was finally deemed fit to resume active command on the Western front. His temperament improved with his renewed sense of purpose and within days we were at the encampment. On our first night there he called my name very quietly and I laid down beside him. It was dark but I could feel his eyes watching me as surely as his warm breath on my face. Lev placed his hand gently on my forehead and his fingers slowly passed over my eyelids and nose. I kissed the palm of his hand as it hovered there. Then his fingers traced my lips.

"You are without a doubt the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my life," he said softly.

I don't think perfectionists are ever very easy to love, but from that moment, he was impossible to hate.

By twenty years of age not only was I the oldest page in Eltesnian military history but I had surpassed my Eyre in both height and weight, so much so that I more closely resembled his body guard than scribe. Savlii, who never cared much for Lev, was surprisingly silent regarding our lingering arrangement, patiently waiting his prophetic words to come to pass. I had already lost friends in battle and was continually frustrated by my inability to take up arms and join them, but there were limits even to what Lev could get away with, in spite of all of Vay's authority. The fact that Vay was high priestess never ceased to amaze me. Humorless and uncharismatic, she was all business and pragmatism, be it for prostitution, war or day-to-day economic development of the House. Yet she had always shown rather uncharacteristic warmth to me and once when I was a child I asked her why. "You're a special child, Misha. Always remember that," was her reply.

Vay's influence was felt almost as palpable in the court of Cznorh during the reign of King Dalma as it was in the House and she spoke highly of Lev. Yearly, he received the highly coveted invitation to participate in the Re-enactment of Entrapment. Yearly, I had to remind him that it was in his best interest to go. Occasionally he would be invited to attend a royal birthday or wedding as was the case when Prince Roarke married Princess Adelaide of Belaurii.

It was at the wedding celebration that we first met the King's cousin Lady Zbinka. Approaching thirty never married, she seemed to instantly get it in her head that Lev would make a good husband and proposed to him on the spot. She was an odd contradiction, both refined and boisterous, her presence was felt when she walked into any room. The Erye told her that he was flattered by her offer, but that her interests would be better suited with another choice.

"My apologies, Erye Nalev," Zbinka started with a coy smile. "I have caught you at the disadvantage that you know little of me, while I know everything about you. Would you care to talk somewhere more private?"

The reply was a very polite "no", but she persuaded both of us to join her in a quiet study. She explained, in great detail, her activities over the years in protest of the dehumanization of the Houseborne class. There had been rumors of her involvement especially in the kidnappings of Houseborne males from their foster homes and subsequent placement elsewhere. Allegations that if proven would lead to her execution, royalty or not.

Lev thanked her for placing her trust in him but didn't see the benefit in an alliance. Clearly, she did and continued in her negotiations.

"Erye Nalev, you have become larger than life in your quiet yet subversive manner and put a face on a cause so many of us secretly defend. The two of you have broken infraction after infraction of the outdated and abhorrent code of conduct regarding the Houseborne and have managed to remain relatively unscathed. Alone, I'm not sure how much longer we can defy the system. Together, we represent a very powerful alliance that takes us much closer to the realization of our goals."

I wasn't aware that we had any such lofty goals, at least not before that night. It had always been more of a struggle for day to day existence more than a cause. But Zbinka made her impression on Nalev and before year's end he received permission from Vay to be married. As the figure head of authority for both the clerical and political power that Zbinka sought to undermine, Vay was confident that Nalev would ultimately remain loyal to his previous commitments.

The marriage seemed to signify a change with Savlii and he resumed his vocal attacks on Lev. We often played cards together, and since Lev had such terrible difficulty in reading I got to play his hands. Unlike Lev, I always won which added to Savlii's dissatisfaction.

"I can not believe you make me play with a page," Savlii huffed.

"And that you always lose to a page?" Nalev scoffed.

"I don't know what you're trying to prove, Nalev. Your behavior lacks any semblance of propriety and can not be overlooked for much longer. Your familiarity with this man is an abomination."

"Unlike your familiarity with him when he was a child?"

"You've taken a military institution and made a complete mockery of it. You're entitled to a page, Eyre Nalev, not a wife."

"Actually, I'm entitled to both and have done a reasonable job in keeping both satisfied. Which is more than I can say for your relationships. Who was it your wife ran off with again? Your brother, as I recall."

"Mock me if you will. I will see you driven out of the army," Savlii said and got up, his young page shuffling after him.

"Eyre Savlii, aren't you forgetting something?" Lev asked.

Savlii threw some money down on the table and left. It was always good to see him leave.

As it turned out taunting the superior officer, though immediately rewarding was not beneficial in the long run. The political climate of Eltesnia and especially within the high court of Cznorh was changing, distancing itself from the powerful intrusion of the House while elevating the authority of the King's Council. King Dalma vehemently opposed this shift from the start, but he was swayed over time by the pervasive efforts of those closest to him. The direct ramification for us was that Nalev's ties to the House mattered less and less. And Savlii was poised for retribution.

Lev was promoted to the Office of Disciplinary Affairs which had the dubious honor of trying and executing all offenders of Houseborne misconduct, including infractions perpetrated by Eltesnian citizens. Savlii took enormous satisfaction in knowing that his nemesis spent every waking hour treading lightly with his personal life while being forced to uphold a system that he despised. I remained with Lev as his secretary for a number of months before he had a sudden miraculous recovery with his eye sight and sent me to live with Zbinka as her guard. Those were bittersweet times for all of us and, as in the never ending war, we took comfort wherever we could find it.

"Obviously none too well ..." by Misha

2009-11-28T11:52:00.018-05:00

<-Previous

I was cold and wet. After spending two weeks touring the front lines with Erye Savlii it was time to visit the main army hospital located just outside of the capital. As if traveling in the rainy season wasn't unpleasant enough, Savlii went on incessantly about that coward hiding behind the incestuous protection of the High Priestess. The chattering of my teeth obfuscated his voice as we walked through the crowded corridors of the wounded and convalescing of the King's Army. We finally reached the large room nearest the sanctuary which was typically reserved for visiting dignitaries, but for the past eight months was occupied by Eyre Nalev.

"You're soaking wet!" Lev declared as we entered the room.

There was a window that overlooked the courtyard behind the hospital that provided a panoramic view of the rainy mess of mud and puddles below. A square table was in the center of the room with four chairs. A flowering potted plant sat atop the table along with several fat candles. The room was filled with potted ferns so much so that it resembled the forest, only without the pounding rain.

Savlii took off his overcoat and gave it a good shake before placing it over one of the chairs to dry. "None sense."

"I meant Misha."

"Never mind the boy. Where is she?" He asked gruffly.

"Good day, Erye Savlii," Vay responded from the doorway. "I expected you to first visit with me in my quarters." Her voice was calm and steady.

"I was more interested in speaking with his doctors. Again, they tell me that they see no reason for him not to return to duty."

"And again, I'll remind you, Erye Savlii, that Erye Nalev will remain here until I see fit to order his release."

"When will that be?"

"Soon, Erye Savlii," the High Priestess responded amiably. "Will you join me in my quarters?"

I turned to leave, but Savlii snapped at me to remain behind until I received further instruction. I was cold, wet and hungry. Lev was eating his midday meal when we barged in on him. He sat there on his bed with his injured leg in its odd contraption.

"You'll find dry clothes in that drawer over there," Lev gestured.

I changed quickly and thanked him. He noticed me staring at the food in much the same manner as he was eying me and offered to share.

After taking a spoonful of soup I almost choked.

"Something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Erye Nalev, but I'm forbidden from eating meat."

"Is it warm, Misha?"

"Yes."

"Are you cold?"

"Yes."

"Then eat the damn soup already and warm yourself," Lev chided me.

I stood and ate with my back to the door lest Savlii return too soon.

"You know, Misha, you're the only thing that makes Savlii's visits bearable," he paused and looked me in the eyes. "I shall miss seeing you."

"Why is that?" I asked naively.

"You don't know what he's doing with Vay, do you?"

"I'm sure it is of no concern to me, Erye Nalev."

"You couldn't be more wrong. He's requested a fresh page to break in. You're about to get cast off like so many of your predecessors, Misha."

I ate some bread and washed it down quickly with the rest of the tea. "Now?"

"I believe so."

Savlii had told me that someday he intended to recommend that I study to become headmaster at the Academy for the Houseborne, his way of rewarding me for years of efficiency and obedience. I had persuaded myself that day was far in the future, that I would have ample warning. Now I realized that the next person to walk through the doorway could be sent to arrange my castration. I shuddered.

Lev motioned for me to sit beside him and he took a small throw blanket and rubbed my head with it. So many thoughts ran through me. I felt awkward and abandoned. Worse yet, I felt like a failure. Being a page was a shit job, but I was good at it. Now everything was changing and I was powerless to affect my own destiny. As I stared at the wall I became aware of Lev's fingers brushing the damp curls away from my face.

"It's a great pity you're not my page, Misha. Men like you and I really would get on well together. Don't you agree?"

I looked him in those intense blue eyes that seemed to be laughing at me.

"Erye Nalev, are you flirting with me?" His timing was terrible if his appraisal of my situation was correct.

Lev smiled and began his reply, "Obviously none too well if you have to ask."

I heard Vay and Savlii arguing in the corridor and quickly tried to get up. Lev took hold of my forearm and kept me near. I struggled to stand, to put some distance between us, but it was too late. Savlii, Vay and a young boy entered the room.

"This is precisely what I've been afraid of-- being man-handled some night in my sleep," Savlii fumed.

"Well, Erye, if that's all you're concerned about, I'll be glad to take him off your hands." Nalev offered wryly.

"Enough!" Savlii motioned to Vay to take me away.

"Erye Savlii, it was your intent to have Misha train his replacement." Vay said flatly.

"I'll have to manage without him."

"As you wish, Erye Savlii."

Vay escorted me out of the room. Against the cold hard protocols of the House, she had always treated me kindly and was the closest thing to a mother I had ever known. As we walked toward her quarters she placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "There there, Misha. I got you into this. With a little luck, I'll get you out as well."

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Introduction by Misha

2009-10-13T09:24:00.000-04:00

2009-08-06T23:30:00.027-04:00

<- Previous

Fen decided to join me in Gelassi where we threw ourselves into our labor. We wondered when or if we would ever see those we loved again, but refrained from giving shape to those fears and insecurities. Eburgistraten had been gone for years and there was little hope of his return. So after only a few days, a messenger caught me completely by surprise with a note from Tironik.

My Dear Misha,

There has been an accident. Nalev has been gravely injured and I alone have stayed behind to take care of him. I know what he means to you, to all of us, and I could not leave him in the care of strangers. I pray that you and Fen reach us in time.

Yours, Niko

We arrived at the tiny Inn of the Teapot and found Tironik reading to the non-responsive and heavily bandaged Nalev in a small room to one side of the kitchen. Tironik got up at once to greet us with a hearty embrace then poked his head outside to call to the cook for some food.

"What happened? Robbers?" I asked.

"He lost his footing on some slippery rocks and tumbled a good way down. It was just an accident. It could have happened to any of us."

"What about the rest of the party?" Fen asked.

"I've sent scouts to find their trail, to see if they made it to the next stop, but to no avail. It's like they just vanished. There was so much confusion after the accident. I'm sorry that I don't have better news."

"He's said nothing?" I sat beside Lev.

"He said, 'I cheated'. That was really all. He's been in and out since then, never much longer than to take a few drinks."

"Niko, let's go wait on the food." Fen suggested.

I wasn't hungry. Rad'en' soon arrived said his greetings and left for the bar with Niko and Fen. I suppose I wasn't much better company than Lev. My attempts at reading to him proved futile because I kept getting choked up. Why did he always get himself into such grave danger? And why did I still care? The answer to both was simple: Lev was Lev.

Hours passed as I stayed by his bed. I must have drifted off because I remember waking up to fingers passing through my hair. It felt very comfortable and peaceful so I laid still for a few moments. Then I remembered where I was. I had fallen asleep on Lev's arm while leaning out of my chair. I looked up at him and smiled.

"You look like shit," Lev proclaimed in a weak raspy voice.

I tried to quickly compose myself. "At death's door and all you could say was 'I cheated'." I handed him a cup. His shaky hands reached for it and I sat on the bed to help him. He was obviously in bad shape if he allowed my assistance.

"I knew I wasn't dying."

"You did, did you?"

"Well, perhaps there was some doubt in my mind. I wouldn't want to upset things between you and the 'good doctor' though."

"When are you going to stop trying to protect me from my own life?" I asked.

He took another drink and said, "I love you."

"Thank you."

"Did that somehow make all the problems between us magically vanish?"

"Not at all." I leaned over, kissed his forehead and whispered, "There wouldn't be any fun in that."

He let out a small laugh that probably hurt his cracked ribs because he winced terribly, but his hand rested on my leg and I felt closer to him that I had in a very long time.

"How did you do it?" I asked. He looked confused so I elaborated, "How did you manage to cheat?"

He laughed and winced again. "I'm actually a very good card player."

"Not from what I've seen," I corrected.

"First time I you walked in with Savlii, I wanted you so badly that I couldn't see straight. I lost that game fair and square. But it got me thinking--" he began.

"You deliberately lost a fortune just to lull him into a false sense of superiority?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Bull shit!"

"Am I not a brilliant strategist?"

"You're alright."

"Alright?!" He huffed.

Rad'en' cleared his throat as he walked through the doorway. He quipped, "Well I too am happy you're not dead, father." He gently hugged Lev and sat on the other side of the bed.

"My son," he beamed and held onto his hand. "So where is your mother? If everyone was anticipating my demise, where is she?"

"Permanently stuck in her throne, father. A rumor has been started that her throne has been fitted with a chamber pot so she need never be far from it and she actually empties the entire court when she wants to make use of it."

"What a dreadful rumor, Rad'en'. One that could only have been perpetrated by someone that knows her very well."

"Indeed," Rad'en' chuckled.

"Misha, do you think you could find me something to eat? I nice fat steak would do nicely."

I left and returned with a bowl of warm gruel, the "good doctor" and Fen now armed with the lute she had just purchased from a shop down the street to help lift the patient's spirits. It was difficult to tell which he was least enthusiastic about seeing.

"How are we feeling, Nalev?" Tironik asked.

Lev didn't answer, turning all his concentration onto the blandness of the food. Fen began playing a happy tune, but none too well; Lev grimaced.

"At least my wife was concerned enough to visit," I chided him.

To the unaccustomed ear his response must have sounded like him clearing the nasty gruel from his throat. As Lev was never one to acquiesce even the most trivial of points, I knew he muttered Go fuck yourself.

Once he finished eating he turned to Tironik and said, "Where are the King and Paynor?"

"Not here," I informed him.

"They continued on, Nalev. I sent a tracker after them once I got you settled here. There's been no sign of them," Tironik stated.

"That can't be," Lev muttered. "There's no way they could have continued on without me. Only a trained priest can open the portal."

"Perhaps Roarke's knowledge is more extensive than you think," I suggested.

"Absolutely not. He told me he needed me. Do you think I wanted to vanish into oblivion with him? I'm no fool."

Fen stopped playing and quietly excused herself.

There were no easy fixes in life, at least not mine. Lev never was a good patient and the 'good doctor' had his work cut out for him. I stayed on with Fen and Rad'en' for a few days longer, then it was time to get back to our other obligations. It would be quite some time before Tironik deemed Lev fit to be moved so I resolved to visit as often as I could and write them both daily.

It was difficult to tell what provided more discomfort during my visits, Lev's complaining or the fact that the two of them were conspiring against my sanity. I had been under the impression that being honest with both of them was the right solution. Certainly a decision on my part would greatly help to sort the whole mess out straight away. Neither of them agreed. They saw no benefit in hasty action. In stead, each was completely confident that the short-comings of the other would prove their downfall and they would be perfectly patient, waiting for fate to run its course.

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Conversations, by Misha

2009-08-05T15:35:00.025-04:00

<- Previous

On those glorious evenings that we got Neopar drunk enough to pass out, there was freedom for one and all. While Fen liked to go missing, I generally went to the quarters that Hetta and Taisia shared for a night of drinking, soul-searching, card-playing and needle point. Hetta had designed an elaborate tapestry in her mind but with her failing eyesight and unsteady hands she found it easier to direct me. The colors, though vibrant and bold, were still difficult to work with in the candlelight.

We were an odd circle of friends: the cuckhold, the aged nurse and the jilted mistress, but very tight none the less. Hetta was not humerous by nature, but was quite a gifted storyteller and was guaranteed to have us laughing so hard that we couldn't see straight. Many of her more colorful stories revolved around Renet Aylii.

Fun, playfull and affectionate, she was more puppy than teacher and everyone loved Aylii, but no one more so than Hetta.

Hetta spent much of her early life wandering in and out of the House with her parents as they conducted their garment business. She enjoyed all of the religious and academic training as the sisters, but as a full Eltesnian citizen she had the world at her feet. Unfortunately, she wasn't interested in the world, only in helping her best friend find a way out of her servitude.

There was always a way out - it just took time, money and the requisite contribution of three children to serve the House. Hetta and Aylii constantly petitioned Nalev to intercede on for them, but even as high priest, his hands were tied by bureaucracy. Hetta concentrated her efforts on her parents, but they were unwilling to throw their money or their reputation in House and Court away for anything. When she persisted too much, she was banished from the House and forced to remain at the Court at Kanabulan. Shortly afterward Prince Avram took notice of her. By the time Hezason was born the prince had already lost interest in Hetta and moved on with his philandering, but she remained at the Court and raised their son.

Hetta became a much sought after nurse and raised Hezason's cousin Eburgistraten until he was nearly thirteen. Then she packed up her bags and went to the House looking for Aylii only to find that she had fulfilled her obligation and was redeemed from further servitude by wealthy landowner from the northwestern mountains of Eltesnia.

Well, I suppose it wasn't always humorous. Sometimes life has a way of sticking it to you no matter what. At any rate, the companionship the three of us shared did immeasurable good for our well-being.

It was a few hours before sunrise when I retired to my bed. I was restless and beginning to worry about what Fen had gotten herself into. Eventually I drifted off, but was easily awoken when she crept into bed.

"Rough night?" I asked.

"I went for a ride."

"By yourself?"

"Yes." She stated.

"You know, it's one thing if I think you're knocking around with a bunch of rich, inbred malcontents, but I can not condone you traipsing about the countryside until the wee hours of the morning. Do you have any idea what type of people are out there?"

"I do know what type of people are in here," Fen said defiantly. "Did you have a pleasant night?"

"While I was up worrying about you?" I asked.

"You were asleep when I got in."

"I was not asleep. My eyes were just closed."

"I'm sorry if I caused you any undue concern." She said somewhat contritely. There was a long pause then she whispered, "Good night, Misha."

"I'm not sleeping," I grumbled and rolled onto my side, facing away from her.

"Come on, Misha. I apologized already. What more do you want from me?"

"I'm not angry with you," I stated.

"Then what is it? Don't make me beg you to talk... Even though you always ridicule me for running off at the mouth about my petty problems."

"I never accused you of having petty problems, just a petty attitude." I corrected.

"Oh, that's so much better." She quipped then placed her arm around me.

"I was hoping for news by now, Fen."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry that I got you even more involved in this whole mess," Fen said. "I was only trying to help."

"I've survived worse."

"Really?"

"No."

Fen kissed my ear and the side of my face. I can't claim that I thought much about it before hand, but I turned my face and kissed her. I was far too tired to think about anything or anyone --right up until I accidentally called her by the wrong name.

"What did you call me?!" She shrieked and got out of the bed.

"I'm sorry, it slipped out. I don't know why."

"My mother?!"

She continued to shriek a number of insults to my character while wildly gesticulating with both arms. I attempted to interject that her mother was very attractive, but that, as you may imagine, was not the proper thing to say.

"Look, Misha, if you want to fuck my mother, just do it. Leave me out of it!"

"I don't want to fuck your mother. I was just thinking about her."

"While you were kissing me? Thanks for clearing up that misunderstanding!"

"Fen, sit down," I pleaded.

"I don't want to sit down!" She snapped.

"I'm not after your mother. As if I needed any other reason, Rad'en' is in love with her."

"Screw Rad'en'! What does he have to do with this?"

"He's my son, Fen."

She was speechless. I enjoyed each moment of absolute quiet to hear myself think. I was tired and really didn't want to get into it, but I hadn't left myself any other option. The last thing I wanted was for her to start babbling on with her theories as she attempted to get inside my head.

"So you've always had a problem with boundaries," Fen remarked under her breath. Even before I had a chance to explain, she took back precisely three insults, but no more. She held strongly to the validity of the other twenty or so, I had rapidly lost count during her tirade.

"Zbinka's father was very ill for a long time. After he died, she was a wreck from drinking too much. I attempted to comfort her."

"Sounds like you succeeded."

"I was young and stupid. Nothing more to it than that."

"Then why should you care so much about Rad'en'?"

"When he was a little he used to worship me. Worship me, Fen. That didn't change until he went off to the military academy. I'd still do anything for him."

"Even after he wanted to kill you?"

"Whether he knows it or not, he's my son, Fen. That's really all that matters to me."

Fen got under the covers and laid her head on my chest. She was right, of course. Taisia had such a warm and unassuming nature. Soft words and gentle laughter flowed effortlessly from her lips. She possessed both beauty and strength in such an alluring amalgamation that it was hard for me to turn away. Yet from the very beginning, I was determined that she would be the one person I could never have.

Other things were certain as well: Ompar wouldn't sleep forever and in spite of all the bickering and jealousy of our contrived and unholy union, I never doubted that I could count on Fen to be my soul's confessor, nor I hers.

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Post #1: Introduction by Roarke

2009-08-04T23:56:00.000-04:00

Maybe some would say of King Eburgistraten that he led a charmed life: full of women, great riches and power. As the youngest of five princes of the third tier his main desire was not to outlive all four cousin brothers. Eburgistraten was much too passionate a man to want anything to do with sacrificing humanity, especially his, to ascend Kanabulan’s Throne Eternal. Existence void of all emotion in the shadow of the High Queen was more than any man should have to endure. Each of the four kings that preceded him eagerly accepted this fate, believing that its promise of immortality and decisions unencumbered by human desires would make him the king of all generations: a great leader, provider, peacemaker, rich beyond measure and wise as the gods themselves. All of them succumbed to the madness and begged with their last shred of reason for death to come at the hand of the one being capable of ending their turmoil: the High Queen.

From "The Book of Ara", Page 14

"Thank you," I said. I recognized the Hetta's handwriting at once.

My Dearest Fen,

If you are reading this, please know that I am sorry that I did
not have the chance to say goodbye in person. I have been in service to your family for three generations, loving each of you as my own.

After you left, I received word from Vay that a great friend of mine in the House has begun a rapid decline and her memory is quickly fading. For whatever time she may have left and despite whatever the toll it will take on me, I must be at her side. I pray that you will understand and forgive my hasty departure. I am set to leave
with King Roarke and D'Hir who have graciously offered to send be the rest of the way to Kanabulan with escort. I can teach you no more, my dear Fen.

With Much Affection,

Your adoring Hetta

I cried. It was a much needed release. I buried my head on Misha's chest and he put his arms around me.

"This isn't about Hetta, is it?" I shook my head. "There is another letter for you."

"God--not from D'Hir," my voice crackled.

"Not from D'Hir. I wouldn't expect to hear from him any time soon."

I looked up at him and he smiled warmly. "Well?"

"Yes, give it to me."

"Please."

"Yes, please, Misha. May I have the letter?"

"There will be a lecture later." Misha reached into his shirt and handed me another letter. I looked at it for a moment.

"Is it from--?"

"Yes."

"Read it to me."

"Absolutely not."

"Have you read it?"

"No, but he handed it to me personally."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"He said, 'Please give this to Fen.' Now if you want to know anything more, open the damn letter!" He left the room.

I tore open the letter and sat down on the couch.

Dear Lady Fenwick,

We leave today to Cznor. In all this time since you've been gone
I have not regained sufficient courage to speak freely with the King and Queen. I shall be eternally grateful for the trust and kindness between us. As I return to my home, it is my utmost concert that D'Hir and I must suffer the loss of our loved ones once more, only now as we rewrite history with the truth that must be told I fear is will be more painful to him than the lies.

I must apologize to you, Fen, that I have you at a terrible disadvantage. D'Hir's letters to me spoke countless volumes of your warmth, beauty and great tenacity. When the dust has settled, I should like very much to have the opportunity to see you again.

Until then,

Roarke

I read it twice more before placing it in a locked drawer along with the letter from Hetta. As I went to pick up the pitcher from my vanity to have it sent down to the kitchen for some warm water, my foot caught on something on the floor. It was Roarke's shirt. I folded it and placed it with the letters.

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Fenaway, from Fen's Memoirs

2009-08-02T00:21:00.005-04:00

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I was startled to find him already inside, naked to the waist and cleaning himself after the fight. Surprise turned to horror as I saw the thick scars across his back. He laid the towel he was using down on my vanity and turned to face me.

"I said I needed quiet, Fenaway, not solitude."

I offered him a clean robe and we sat together on my couch. Though the image was already burned into my head, it was improper for me ask.

"Thank you," I said quietly, "For defending my honor."

"Without honor, we are nothing. In that Misha and I are in complete agreement." His eyes were peering deep into me. The tables had been turned on me. "I'm sorry, Fenaway. I have failed you--both of you and brought dishonor on the alliance Burgi and I vowed to protect at all cost."

It had been such a long since I heard that name. Only Burgi had called me that as a child. 'Fen, away from the knives, the wine, the older boys...' It spoke to me of the closeness between those two men, caught on opposite ends of the war, yet cut into my very soul. I closed my eyes for a moment and fought off the tears. He was good.

"I'm listening." His hand slowly brushed away an errant tear from my cheek. I caught his hand and held on and waited.

"There were rumblings in the council against my father. Many feared that his deep ties with the House were a disadvantage to the other sects. They were mere rumblings when I sent you and D'Hir here. None of those loyal to my father had any idea how swift the tide would change against us. Vay and all members of the House were barred from entry to both court and council. We foolishly believed that our actions would appease the opposition. There was a fleeting calm before the plague descended upon us, brought on not by god but a violent coup."

"The council had them killed?"

"Until only I remained, with no will left to challenge them. Paynor needed a figure head to keep the country from falling into anarchy."

"Eyre Nalev?"

"With the end of the holy war Nalev returned to victorious. Instead of a hero's welcome, he was thrown in prison. His wife Zbinka helped to restore order and justice to the court. It was she who appealed to Paynor to allow for Misha to be found and sent to you and D'Hir, and was greatly surprised that he agreed."

"D'Hir knows nothing of this?"

"Three days ago, Fen," he started. "Three days ago I poisoned the council like the vermin they were. But that wasn't good enough for the mastermind Paynor. I would take no chances with him." Roarke let out an uneasy laugh and bit his lip. "After years of being robbed of all I loved, my dignity and my country I severed the head of the beast as he slept. And what of that do I tell my only son and heir to the throne?"

"The truth. What else is there for you?"

"We need you, Fen. D'Hir's letters to me gave me strength when all else was lost. He wrote only of you. All those years, Fen, only of you. Together we can make some sense of this."

"I can not return with you. D'Hir knows that." I said.

"You know I would be within my rights to hold you to that agreement, despite all of this."

"I know you will do what is right for D'Hir and not deny him the chance to have someone worthy of his attention."

"He's sleeping with the Queen, isn't he?"

I looked away. Judging by the trembling in his voice, he blamed himself for that as well." And you, are you happy here?"

"Being Ompar's mistress affords me many freedoms I would not otherwise enjoy."

"Ompar?" Roarke chuckled. "You will think me a great hypocrite..."

"You are among friends here. You have my word that no harm will come to you."

He brought his face close to mine. There was no more talk either past or future, only one moment that blended into the next, all too perfect for words. When at last he fell asleep, I pulled away from his embrace and he rolled peacefully onto his stomach. I kissed his ear and softly ran my fingertips across his back and knew that nothing could rival the scars to his soul. It pained me to leave him there, but he would not be surprised. I quickly got dressed and went into the night. I rode faster and farther that I had ever gone on my own. I rode and rode, all the way to the sea. But there was no peace for me there, only solitude.

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One Lavish Party After Another, from Fen's Memoirs

2009-08-02T00:11:00.007-04:00

<- Previous

There were many diverse tasks associated with being mistress to Ompar. It was even possible to excel at a good number of them with my dignity intact. I enjoyed the parties. The planning was as endless as the money at my disposal. So many opulent choices with the food, wine, ambiance. Pouring over the guest lists with Neopar hour after hour to determine who would need what kind of attention in order to drop their guard and divulge their hidden agendas. That was intriguing. Often my problem was that the King's voyeuristic tendencies precluded the when and where of my fact finding missions. Other times, it hardly mattered. Hetta warned me that I was becoming too jaded. I assured her that if the proper occasion ever presented itself, that I could choose to be as sunny, trusting and altruistic as humanly possible. I failed to convince either one of us with my statement.

After two years of more of the same, one peaceful afternoon as I fed grapes to Ompar with my feet, which he adored for their daintiness, and he played cards with Misha a messenger from King Roarke awoke us to the inevitable.

Apparently King Roarke had much to discuss with us in person and would be there with his entourage in three days. Apparently...?

"Does the Queen know?" Neopar inquired.

"Yes, your Highness. She said that you should make the necessary arrangements."

King Neopar waved the messenger away and resumed playing.

"Three days? Kranch. What do you want me to do in three days?" I straightened myself from my recumbent position on the couch.

"Magic as usual, poppet."

"And D'Hir?" I inquired. The debauchery between he and Dophe had gone one much longer than we anticipated.

"The Queen keeps few secrets from him," Neopar replied matter-of-factly.

"And how are we delicately going to inform King Roarke about--" There was more than a note of panic in my voice.

"I have no idea. Absolutely no idea. Love to hear what you come up with, my dear." Neopar gave me a crooked smile and a wink, that was his way of waving me off.

Fortunately for me, money and power provided the necessary incentive to do the impossible, at least in the material sense. Countless scenarios ran through my mind as to how to broach the subject that his only son and heir had been used these past two years as the Queen's plaything. None ended well. Certainly if Queen Dophe were more diplomatic and less of a contriving shrew she could handle the very situation she created for herself.

My only real hope was to have D'Hir packed up and ready to return home with his father as soon as possible.

"You mean our things?" D'Hir asked when I spoke to him a few moments later.

I forced the whirlwind in my mind to halt long enough to really look at him. "You need to go, D'Hir. Your father needs you." I tried to be as feeling as I could.

"But what about us? We can start over."

"So Daddy comes to get us and makes everything all better? Come on, D'Hir, listen to yourself." Admittedly, that was not the type of feeling I was trying for. "What can he possibly say for himself? Leaving us here for so long."

"He was protecting us."

"Protecting us? That's not good enough for me."

"He's the King. He doesn't need to justify his actions," D'Hir stated.

"And you and I, D'Hir?"

D'Hir put his hands on my shoulders and spoke softly to me. "We're survivors, Fen." He bent down and kissed the top of my head. I found myself embracing him. Part of me wanted to believe that he loved me, that he'd always loved me. But that was only part... I mainly just wanted him gone, and with as little bloodshed or bad feelings as possible.

Despite his exuberance at being reunited with his only son, there was a heaviness about him. I feared that he had already found out about the Queen and tried my best to keep him distracted with the revelry. I pretended not to notice as his eyes followed me around the room. But I did notice. And something in his gaze made me uneasy. I had another drink to steel my nerves and focused on my objective: facilitating the hasty departure of D'Hir, King Roarke and their entire entourage without endangering the long-standing alliance between the two countries. There was no one better for the job at hand, but my reputation was about to become my undoing.

After enjoying some levity with the musicians and dancers I returned to the table honor to find Misha and King Roarke engaged in a heated discussion.

"There, there, gentlemen," King Neopar tried to pacify them. "The Great War is finally over and we have much cause for celebration." Neopar raised his glass to make a toast.

"The war ended with the freeing of the Lane. The senseless debacle that endured these past two years was completely unjust, fought without honor and devoid of mercy." Misha exclaimed.

Misha was the last person I would have imagined to challenge King Roarke.

"There were many obstacles preventing a truce until now," Roarke said defensively.

Misha continued his objections. "What obstacles? When the holy war was over we lay down our weapons and marched into oblivion."

"And the rest of the Houseborne did not fare as well as you, Misha." Roarke's reply was sharp.

Misha stood in an imposing manner and I placed my hand on his shoulder to ease him back down.

"Is it true, King Roarke? Has the fighting come to an end?" I asked.

"Even now, Eyre Nalev has taken control of the entire secular army. He has spent much time formulating a plan for the gradual integration of the Houseborne as full citizens."

"Nonsense!" Misha snapped. "If such plan existed, Nalev would have written to me."

I heard the Queen herself gasp. Roarke rose to his feet and shouted, "Damn your insolence, man!"

D'Hir approached the volatile standoff. "Pay him no heed, father. It is the drink talking."

I tried again to gently guide Misha back into his seat. Neopar was little diplomatic help. To him, this was mere foreplay.

Misha turned his face around to me and scowled, "Don't touch me you whore."

Considering the source of the comment, this was less insult than statement of fact. To King Roarke, it was an outrage. He looked to his son to defend my honor but was only appalled by his lack of chivalry. Roarke stepped forward and struck Misha hard across the face. Misha responded in turn. The music stopped. The king and guard drew their swords as D'Hir and I rushed to get out of the way.

Fortunately the fight was short lived. Misha put away his sword and offered a hand to his clearly bested opponent that lay flat on his back. Roarke accepted the aid. D'Hir picked up his father's sword and held it out for him.

"Misha, a word," King Neopar called. No one expected to see either of them before morning.

"I beg your pardon, Queen Dophe. I must take my leave for the night. I am in need of quiet." He motioned for his entourage to stay.

"I trust that clearer heads will prevail in the morning. Until then, King Roarke." Dophe gave him a polite nod and he walked off alone. I didn't know how much of what I'd just witnessed was real or merely an act, at that moment I didn't care.

I went to King Roarke's guest room but was informed by his guards that he had not yet returned. Considering the time I wasted dragging my feet down the corridors, I found that difficult to believe. None the less, I went to my quarters to formulate my next move. Then discovered that it was not at all my move to make.

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Captive and Captivating, from Zbinka's Musings

2009-08-02T00:08:00.011-04:00

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Months passed with no news of my husband. While it might seem cruel to say, I had not completely ruled out the possibility that he had gotten himself desperately lost after the surrender at Gelassi. Nalev, as a good Eyre, had learned how to surround himself with those that possesed skill in strategy, logistics and geography allowing himself time to do what it was that he did best: rally the troops and pray for peace. For the most part Misha's prior service to Eyre Savlii proved to be very good training and despite being treated as part of the scenery, Misha was adept at learning far more than anyone realized.

In all honesty, I was firmly convinced that Nalev was being held somewhere in Cznorh. In time I hoped I would be permitted to see him, and did my best to placate those who held me captive. It was rumored that Rad'en' had turned traitor and was plotting with the Houseborne and Kanabulan. While that didn't bode well for my favor in court, I certainly prayed that it was true. Surely someone, somewhere was going to put the country back in order.

Roarke was much relieved to receive regular letters from Prince D'Hir still at the court at Belaurii. Yet even good tidings added to his distress as he knew that Paynor and his allies somehow held the young man's life in their hands. Personally, I was even grateful for any word about that damn precocious Lady Fenwick and her taunting of Misha. I knew him well enough to know the extreme frustration he must be facing to be a palace guard. It was far to difficult for him to keep his thoughts to himself, and I had to smile every time I pictured him there. King Neopar in his attempt not to distance himself from Eltesnian policies and outdated laws had offered Misha citizenship to Belaurii before he could even accept his position. Wherever Nalev was, he would be proud that his country-less page now had both Kanabulan and Belaurii to call home, even if it was no more than empty words on paper, it was a start.

With so much despair around me, I did my best to keep up my inherent jovial nature. I made every attempt to regain the semblance of a functioning monarchy and established myself as acting Queen. After the absent Prince Arbanji D'Hir, I was next in line to the throne. Roarke vanished for days and even weeks at a time to his private study in the towers. I had seen it with Roarke's older sister and again with my father; I feared that one time he would not return and there seemed little I could do to change that.

But there were those people and outcomes that were within my power to affect. I concentrated on those efforts my every waking moment...

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Royal Obligations, by Misha

2009-08-01T23:48:00.018-04:00

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My life had been filled with people telling me where to go, whom to hate and, somehow even more insidious, whom to love. Neopar gave me his assurance that he would do whatever was possible to find Lev. Unfortunately, it also left me rather exposed and vulnerable, precisely how the king preferred his companions. He was given to many fetishes, most of which were better suited for the kitchen than the bedroom. Most times I tried to shut out his voice, which was no small feat because of his boisterous and jovial nature. He never spoke in a normal conversational tone. It was always either booming and grandiose or emphatically hushed.

It was little surprise that the Queen kept her distance from him. The power of Belaurii was fully on her side of the family tree which was why he was so preoccupied with screwing Fen and that prophecy of the branch rejoined.

No, I was not the mistress, just the cuckold. By this time I had citizenship in two countries neither of which I particularly cared for and an impetuous, loquacious and self-absorbed child for a wife.

When Neopar got too demanding or just generally annoying, Fen and I would get him drunk and wait for him to pass into a deep, deep sleep. That was about the only time we could socialize with Hetta and Taisia who became very dear friends to me. Fen had the habit of making herself scarce, as if it wasn't my job to notice, and I would generally find her the following morning in much better spirits. Neopar, on the other hand, would wake up a complete wreck and swear off drinking, until the next time we needed to silence him.

As bad as it typically was, it got markedly worse when Neopar threw his back out logrolling and was laid out flat on his back for weeks.

"Well, go on," I said to Fen who was lounging about reading the book of poetry I had given to her.

"I'm almost done with this page," she said without looking up.

I took the book from her. "And this page is done for the night. If you'll excuse me, berry seeds are chafing my foreskin."

"I don't like berries."

"Always about you, princess."

"I can hear you," Neopar bellowed from his bed.

Fen glared at me and slapped me across the face. I quickly retaliated then she trudged off behind the bed curtains.

Though she tried to remain disaffected by the circumstances of her young life, the reality was very much to the contrary. Neopar, jovial and warm as he could be, was far too concerned with his precious prophecy to see the terrible void that was growing within Fen. She couldn’t hide her pain and disillusionment from me for it resonated so completely with my own feelings of helplessness. Often she would cry herself to sleep, my arms wrapped tightly around her, as I filled her head with foolish notions of poetry and romance hoping in time they would trickle down into her parched soul.

I pleaded with Neopar for answers about Nalev and the prophecy. Anguish filled his eyes and the color drained from his face. Quietly he said, “My friend, I fear Dophe’s hand in every cruel transgression in all three courts. The prophecy may be my only hope to regain authority and set things right.”

"Not your only hope, King Neopar. We shall see to it," I vowed.

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Creating Misha, from Fen's Memoirs

2009-08-01T23:35:00.013-04:00

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Looking back, it was no real surprise that I be so drawn to him. He was my constant companion, strong and silent--a blank canvas to satisfy my every need. Tall and muscular, the chiseled features of his face were partially obscured by a well-trimmed, graying beard. His eyes were a deep, rich color of brown and his gaze spoke volumes. Unfortunately for both of us, there was the discrepancy of translation...

With the holy war over and the Houseborne disbanded, King Roarke was faced with a societal conundrum. As one of the bastard class, Misha had no rights of citizenship, was prohibited from marriage, garnering wages and even reading. Men in the tens of thousands suddenly had no place to call home. Even as the secular war continued to rage, these men were prohibited from joining the ranks of the true countrymen and land owners.

Never more that twenty steps away, Misha's charge was to see all without looking or speaking, both night and day. The intent was for him to become an invisible part of the scenery. I spent my days trying to reinvent myself among the young women of the court. Their handiwork was tedious and the gossip was mainly about, well, women like me. The Queen was suddenly too distracted by D'Hir to waste her precious energy on either the King or I.

As for my relationship with Ompar, I was relieved that the King's fetishes were not exclusively of a sexual nature and I was afforded much opportunity for imaginative and amusing play. He loved the outdoors as much as I and even fancied himself a woodsman. He enjoyed falling trees. Often he would have drunken competition with his guards and servants see who could log roll longer. Since he was so enamored with my delicate feet I was precluded from joining the contests.

While Misha worked so hard at being a statue, I bared my heart to him, sang, danced, flirted shamelessly. I imagined that he wanted me desperately, yet feared for his life.

Day after day I plotted to win his affection and release him from his impervious state. I decided that it was best to remove ourselves from prying eyes and while on a seemingly innocent walk near the stables I borrowed a horse and darted away, knowing full well that Misha would have no choice but to chase after me. Riding full speed through the countryside I felt free and alive. I knew Misha must feel the same. I was giddy with delight and rode into a wooded area. The sunlight that trickled through the tree tops was intoxicating...

The next thing I remember was lying on the ground, with a terrible headache. Misha kneeling beside me pressing down hard on my forehead with his ripped sleeve.

"Stop it, you're hurting me!" I demanded.

"The tree hurt you. You've been knocked senseless for quite some time. Of course, in your case, it's more of being knocked silent."

When I tried to sit up, Misha held me down. "You'll stay put until the bleeding stops." He chided, "How am I supposed to explain this escapade to the King? Do you want to get me thrown in prison? It's my job to keep you safe, or haven't you grasped that yet?"

I looked at him and smiled. "You have a beautiful voice."

"I must insist that you don't kill yourself on my watch," Misha said stoically.

"I was in the mood for a ride."

"Everything is about you, princess."

"Don't call me that."

"You're still second in line for the throne whether you choose to play the part or not."

"I'm hungry," I said. Judging from the look on his face as he handed me his water skin I suppose I was whining. "I said I'm hungry, not thirsty."

"Perhaps if you told me ahead of time that you were planning to run away I'd have packed us a light lunch."

"You're very snide."

"And you're very impetuous."

"I want to go home," I said struggling to stand.

"I really don't think you're ready... " He sprung up and caught me before I fell back down to the ground. My head was throbbing now."I'll make a deal with you, princess: if you can keep quiet, I'll tell you my story." Misha shot a forceful look at me when I went to open my mouth. He raised one eyebrow and waited...

Misha told me story after story about Nalev. Though much of it was obscured by the throbbing in my skull I tried my best to focus on his voice.

"I would do anything to know what has happened to Lev and to his son."

"Communication has been impossible with Cznorh, but I will speak with King Neopar on your behalf," I promised.

"Thank you, princess."

"I think I can make it back now."

He held out his hand and helped me to my feet and waited until I was steady. We rode at a snail's pace and were fortunate to make it back before dark.

I spoke to Ompar on Misha's behalf and was quite pleased that he seemed so willing to lend his assistance in finding Nalev and Rad'en'. In a very short time the three of us became inseparable. So much so that the king determined a marriage was in order, not to protect my honor as the wanton mistress by providing me with a cuckhold, but his own for he was growing far too enamored with Misha.

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A Proposition from King Neopar, from Fen's Memoirs

2009-07-31T23:16:00.004-04:00

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King Neopar's hand remained on my shoulder as he led me off to his sitting room. He called for his servants to bring food and wine as he attempted to comfort me.

"It's all a game to her," Neopar said as he poured me a cup of wine. "Don't worry, no harm will come to the boy." He paused and studied my face. "How long have you been here now, Fen?... While the Queen and I have been gracious hosts, I believe it is time for you to face the fact that you're not going back and to do what you can to control your circumstances."

"I have been a diligent lady in waiting for over two years now."

"Yes, and I know how exasperating it is to spend that much time with the Queen, but look at trouble that has brought upon us all. No, my child, I believe you would fare far better with me."

He let me think about this while he ate. My hunger won out and I sat to dine with him.

"You remember my mistress Delcine..."

"That the Queen had beheaded."

"Yes, but not because she was my mistress. Delcine was stealing from the Queen. Dophe was well within her rights to punish her, as if a Queen needs to justify her actions to anyone. But you're getting me off point."

"So sorry, King Neopar."

"Call me Ompar, please." His gestures were quirky and he was incapable of subtlety, but I found him not in the least bit threatening.

"Ompar."

Neopar smiled so warmly that a few drops of wine dripped from the corner of his mouth. I leaned toward him and wiped it off with some linen, thus beginning my tenure as new and final mistress. Upon receipt of the news of my new court appointment, King Roarke sent a congratulatory letter along with Eyre Nalev's former page who was to be my new guard.

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Enigmatic Enemies, from Zbinka's Musings

2009-07-31T23:12:00.006-04:00

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Rad'en' delayed the journey until he believed Taisia was strong enough. Those five days would cost him dearly as it also gave the renegade Houseborne, those not already aligned with Kanabulan, time to gather and plan a reckless attack near the border of Belaurii. There were a group of less than one hundred when they set out, but as they continued on, there numbers grew. Atleast three hundred and fifty of the men under Tironik's charge deserted to join their brothers.

Meanwhile Rad'en', Misha, Taisia and Ussati were inseparable and well-guarded. The journey neared its end and they were camped about a days ride from the Belaurii border. After an uneventful supper, Misha continued amusing Taisia with stories from Rad'en's childhood. As Rad'en' was already quite smitten with the woman, his usually quick temper against his nemesis was greatly subdued. Taisia, on her part, was grateful to be going home to Belaurii and hopeful that her aunt would welcome her into her court.

Early the next morning, before daybreak the renegade Houseborne surrounded the camp to retrieve Misha. Fighting erupted and Misha took Taisia to safety. The two of them were quickly met by the Belaurii escort and taken onward to the capital with twenty men. The remainder of the Belauriian troops joined the fight. The Belaurii first fought the Houseborne, greatly diminishing their numbers, then turned against Rad'en' and his men. Rad'en', Ussati and roughly half of their men survived the fighting. He wondered why the Belaurii wanted him dead on Eltesnian soil, if not by his king's consent. He had done nothing wrong yet he had become an enemy of his own country along with Misha and Nalev. He gave his men an opportunity to part company, which they all declined, and they rode with the remnant of the Houseborne back to Gelassi to meet with Tironik, the truth of Misha's words echoing in his head.

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Fury and Diplomacy, from Zbinka's Musings

2009-07-31T23:02:00.007-04:00

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First of all, taking nothing away from Tironik's Commentary, he conveniently neglected to mention the shameful display of vindictiveness perpetrated upon Taisia by the recently empowered King and Queen of Kanabulan. Because of his underlying devotion to his mistress one cannot expect him to be impartial observer or recorder of the events as they truly occurred. Nor is my insistence in capturing such an unpleasant and controversial chain of events appreciated for truth's sake alone. Yet is is for perpetuity that I am compelled to write that which most would just as soon be allowed to fade into oblivion. No, not even for the greater good of diplomacy can I ignore the pain and betrayal of one. For if atrocities are measured only by the scores and suffering of the individual made most miniscule then we have indeed lost the most basic soul of humanity - our capacity for compassion and understanding. The consequence of lies of omission of truth will mar our existence more than any act of man, nature or imponderables.

Rad'en's troops, driven by fury rallied against the Houseborne who had joined forces with the enemy at Gelassi. I knew it would be a matter of time before he took Gelassi and that as a captive of Paynor my influence was severely limited. Fortunately, a brilliant opportunity came to mind and I was able to gain the support of Paynor himself. It seemed that the intended for Roarke's son D'Hir had recently grown impatient of waiting and became mistress to the King of Belaurii, which even as temporary employment can prove fatal. It would be good for Paynor to have Eyre Nalev's page Misha sent to Belaurii to act as her guard.

He looked perplexed and somewhat annoyed as he asked why he should care.

"Because, as you are probably already well aware," I answered calmly, "Misha is threat to you whether alive or dead. Only in removing him from the other Houseborne until after the war will you be free of his influence."

Just as there were many rumors that swirled around my involvement with the radical groups that organized the kidnappings of the Houseborne, it had been rumored that Paynor and Queen Dophe were lovers many years back and still kept close ties. I was willing to bet not only my life but Misha's as well that those rumors and implications were true.

With every new day I felt a powerful outside presence at work in the Court of Cznorh and doubted very much that my cousin had anything to do with the decisions he was forced to make. Yet I dared not speak to him about all that I had on my mind for it seemed that were so infrequently alone. On those occasions when we were alone I feared what I saw in his eyes, or rather what I did not. There was so little life left in those distant eyes. My father had those same hollow eyes and there was only one end to his years of anguish. I swore to myself that the same fate would not await Roarke, but I knew only time would tell.

Rad'en' was not pleased that his new orders were so specific. He was to capture Misha and personally escort him into Belaurii where he would wait out the remainder of the war under the watchful eye of Queen Dophe and King Neopar. As a dutiful officer Rad'en' did as he was told in regard to Misha. His troops did take the liberty to kill at least two hundred and thirty of the Houseborne traitors.

Eyre Tironik, really more at ease with mending the wounded than dashing the enemy to shreds had managed to capture a good number of the Eltesnian Royal Army which he intended to use as a bargaining tool. Queen Naeri had adamantly insisted that the king's lover be marched, naked and without possession of any kind, out of the country. Tironik arranged a trade with Rad'en'. Kanabulan would release all of its prisoners taken at Gelassi in exchange for Rad'en' agreeing to escort Lady Taisia to the Court at Belaurii where she would reside with her daughter Fen. That journey across Eltesnia would prove Rad'en's capacity both for love and for hate.

"Is this necessary?" Misha asked from the chair to which he was tied then spit out a mouthful of blood onto the ground. He had taken a quite beating from Rad'en'.

"Where is your Eyre, traitor?"

"The rules of our engagement in the holy war were set three hundred years ago. The Houseborne have fought, bled and died for a war that has ended, not for a country that disavows our humanity."

"The king has not ordered an end to the war!" Rad'en' shouted.

"Our mandate is through the House. The Lane has been freed and no just cause remains for war against Kanabulan."

"Done being a fighter, so you'll turn philosopher? The king says fight so we fight! Where is my father?"

"Ask your king," Misha replied coldly.

"Damn your insolence. I could have you killed!"

"We both know you missed your opportunity to strike me down in battle."

"You should be hung for treason and desertion."

"Where is your father, Rad'en'?" Misha looked him squarely in the eyes. "Did he flee into the mountains to regroup what remains of the dreaded deserters? Is that what you think happened? I tell you, Rad'en', Eyre Nalev returned to the court of Cznorh to formally disband the Houseborne before the King and accept his position in the Royal Army. He had a country, we did not. You know what I say is true."

"Silence!"

"Excuse me, Eyre Rad'en'," said a tentative voice in the entry way of the tent.

"What is it?" Rad'en' snapped.

"A message from Eyre Tironik," Ussati said as he held out a letter.

"Well, Misha, looks as though your new country would like to have you back. Usatti, reply back that we will accept our men and transport the girl but we have other plans for Misha."

Two days later Rad'en', accompanied by one third of his troops on horseback, heard boisterous laughter and jeering even before the soldiers of Kanabulan were sighted. Soon they say the entourage from Kanabulan, first those on horseback riding through the clearing, with Taisia, naked and barefoot, stumbling in front of them. They were followed by a good number of ground troops which surrounded the Eltesnian prisoners. Rad'en' felt sick to his stomach at the sight. He approached Taisia and wrapped a blanket around her bruised and bloodied body. Obviously she had been pelted by whatever the people of Kanabulan could find as she was forced to parade before them and probably was treated with even more disdain by the soldiers once they were out of the towns. He looked at the men on horseback.

"Release my men and our meeting is over," Rad'en exclaimed.

As his men marched back toward their camp his attention returned to Taisia.

"Lady Taisia, I am Eyre Rad'en'. I have agreed to lending you safe passage to Belaurii. You have my personal assurance that no further harm will come to you."

Once back at the camp Rad'en' had Ussati make their guest as comfortable as possible while he went to where he was keeping Misha. Misha was still tied up inside a well-guarded tent. Rad'en walked inside.

"Is it that time already?" Misha asked dryly.

"Get up," Rad'en' demanded. Aching and anticipating more interrogation, Misha struggled to his feet. Rad'en' took out a knife and cut the ropes on his wrists.

"Clean yourself, we have a guest and I'm not taking my eyes off either one of you until we get to Belaurii. Don't try anything, Misha. I don't disobey orders, but give me one reason to kill you and I swear it will be worth whatever punishment the king has for me."

"You're too kind," replied Misha smugly.

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End of the Holy War, Commentary by Tironik

2009-07-31T22:38:00.006-04:00

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We had been in the thick of it for three days, with casualties soaring on either side. Eyre Tosdoc, the high commander, had been slain and, absent both Naeri and Hezason, I found myself in charge of holding our position. On the foggy morning of the fourth day, there was only stillness. I sent out a scouting party to report back on any activity from Eyre Nalev's battalion. Fearing a trap, my expectation for seeing the twenty men again were not high and our men remained poised to resume the fight. The first sign of movement occurred at the height of the day. Not only had the scouting party returned, but they were joined by Misha. Zubastyi, the senior most member of the scouting party, presented me with a lengthy document.

"Commander Tironik," Zubastyi began. My attention was on Misha who was unarmed, unrestrained and quite at ease. "Eyre Nalev has received confirmation that the Lane has been freed by King Eburgistraten and Misha has been appointed to negotiate a truce between the Houseborne forces and Kanabulan."

"So he sends us his page?" I asked still befuddled by the situation as it was unraveling, not at all trying to sound condescending.

"Companion, please." Misha corrected. "Erye Nalev is even now personally disbanding entire Houseborne legion."

"Without a truce?"

"Our directive from Eltesnia was to wage the holy war until the freeing of the Lane. As that objective has been met, we have no choice but surrender to Kanabulan."

"How many are in your battalion?" I asked.

"We are three thousand."

"Three thousand men prepared to march unarmed across No Man's Land and into this camp?"

"Yes. It is in writing." Misha gestured to the document that I hadn't as yet consulted.

"We have no accommodations for three thousand prisoners."

"Then we must make them. I assure you, Commander Tironik, that Houseborne have no other place to go."

My decision was to wait until the return of either Naeri or Hezason. I had Misha taken to a holding area where he could gain little information as to our troop size or availability of resources as I contemplated the complexities of the situation. In addition to my many years of service as field surgeon, my less official duty was to keep peace between my mistress Naeri and Hezason. While we did our best to keep hostilities directed toward the clear and present danger of the Eltesnian forces, the two hotheads would invariably, in their quest to prove their honor, courage and superb military leadership, wind up in the same battle. Naeri possessed a passionate loyalty to the throne. Her fearlessness and ability to quickly apprise and lead sound but daring counterattacks made her loved among the common soldiers. Unfortunately as the darling of Prince Eburgistraten and wife of Hezason, she was ill-favored by most officers who considered her brash and uncontrollable.

I had received message from a forerunner that it would be Naeri, joined by an additional 500 soldiers, that would bring the king's directive to the encampment at Gelassi. She arrived early that evening. Gone was the crazed look of vengeance from when she stormed off to find Hezason after Eyre Tosdoc's death, downgraded to her typical fiery stare. She dismounted her horse and I took her hand."My mistress," I bowed politely. She said nothing until we moved to into the privacy of the command center. She removed a large leather sack from her back and placed a great number of documents onto the table before us.

"Burgi has left us will a multitude of correspondences between himself and King Dalma proving their collaboration to free the Lane and what events they hoped would follow. We have sent men into Cznorh to meet with the king, but we have lost all contact with them and fear that they have been captured as spies and executed."

I looked over the letters and notes before me. "And he told you nothing about this?"

"Nothing. But it appears that my mother was involved from the very beginning. She too has been sending diplomats into Cznorh but they have been turned away."

One particular passage in a letter from King Olan to Eburgistraten caught my eye.

"If fate has chosen you to succeed in this crucial endeavour between our peoples before those stubborn, self-seeking bastards of my council have altered their rulings, then you must be prepared to aid the most loyal and down-trodden as testament to the good faith between us now and forevermore."

"So they expect us to open our camps and invite them in for tea?" I said rather sarcastically.

"It appears so. Send for Misha."

The Truce of Gelassi took nearly two months to draft and was never officially signed by Eltesnia proper. During that time the Houseborne were incorporated into our midst as enemy noncombatants. The war continued, waged now almost entirely by the secular army. A terrible illness swept through the court of Cznorh claiming the life of King Olan, Princess Adelaide and her infant son as well as many, many others. It seemed that the recently crowned King Roarke would not any agreement between his father and Eburgistraten and decided that an unrelenting push would bring Kanabulan to its knees. The Houseborne were declared mercenaries and traitors and the King's Army authorized to bring them in, dead or alive. Ironically until that declaration most of the 3000 had busied themselves either in expanding the prison camp or providing sundry noncombatant aid to our soldiers at the front. Already considered the enemy of their former country and with no new direction from Eyre Nalev who had gone to King Roarke's court, many of the Houseborne, under direct supervision of Naeri, took up arms with us. The added incentive of citizenship was promised for all who fought for Kanabulan. Misha had been one of the first to accept the offer.

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Pressing Family Matters, from Zbinka's Musings

2009-07-31T22:34:00.013-04:00

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While hunting with my dear friend Lord Halvren on the southwestern slopes of Mount Vondra about a days ride further north from the Eltesnian town of Ca'non' we received word that my cousin King Dalma and Princess Adelaide were among the first to fall victim to a dreadful illness that closed the entire court of Cznorh to all outsiders. Words can not express my reaction to the great tragedy nor my resolve to avail myself to Roarke in the arduous task of instilling a calm yet forceful continuity to the throne. King Dalma and I had some difference of opinion as to the level of involvement of the House in all manners of state, and this also was the source of great contention among members of his council.

Lord Halvren was kind enough to pack up his entire entourage and we rode back to Cznorh where we met up with Rad'en' who was raving about those "damn Houseborne" surrendering at Gelassi and ending the holy war. The push from King Roarke was to quickly fill in the void with the secular army and strike at Kanabulan at its four major cities along the River Ibere and pound them into dust. While it didn't sound like a decision King Dalma would have made or much like the Roarke I remembered, ours was not to question, at least not yet. Rad'en' received his orders via messenger and met up with his troops long before I was granted access to the court. I was told that the court was locked down for our own protection and that there was no progress being made inside with the doctors and healers. The death toll was nearing 100 and the pungent smell of burning bodies could not be contained within the city walls. I wrote letter after letter disavowing any thought of my own life and pleading to be allowed entrance to the court. I felt guilty from the ease and comfort of my own home when so much turmoil and despair ripped through the heart of my country. I sought to find word of my husband, but there was none. Misha was still at Gelassi negotiating terms with Kanabulan. Rad'en' had orders to bring in any Houseborne dead or alive. I prayed for their safety.

In the second month of waiting I decided to host a gala event at my country estate to eat and drink to the long life of the new king and to the further prosperity of Eltesnia. While I was well aware that there would be no none in attendance from the court, I hoped that both wine and news would flow freely in a gathering in excess of four hundred merchants, bankers, wealthy landowners and of course members of the House which was even then being disbanded at the end of the holy war. It gave me some relief to be surrounded by such good friends and allies as we all shared in the same distress. Lord Halvren, as always, was exceptionally strong and supportive. The only real news garnered from the evening was not good at all. The three thousand Houseborne that Misha now led had agreed to take up arms with Kanabulan once reports of the eradication of the deserters had begun. Though he didn't tell me where he was headed, I knew that Rad'en' and his troops would surely be sent to attack Gelassi. Although I didn't learn nearly as much as I had anticipated, it seems I made the court nervous by my activities and the following day I was invited for a brief audience with the king, at my own risk and under peril of death.

Once inside I was deeply moved by the melancholy of the court still in mourning. I was escorted not to the throne room but to the council's chambers where I was met by Paynor, who had been Chief Councilman ever since I could remember. "Lady T'Nahl," he kissed my hand. "How do you do?"

"Councilman Paynor," I nodded politely. "I was under the impression that I had been granted audience with the our cousin the king."

"King Roarke is well aware of your presence at court and as you can imagine is otherwise occupied in pressing matters of state and has asked me to convey to his dear cousin his heartfelt gratitude for your concern, but beseeches you to return to your home until the deadly plague is no more."

"And I shall thank his royal highness for his concern for my concern when I have my audience with him."

"I'm afraid that this is not possible at this time," Paynor apologized.

"Then I will see the young prince."

"The Prince is ill," Paynor stated uncomfortably.

"Has he the plague?!"

"I do not believe that is the case."

"I must be taken to him at once." I demanded.

Prince Yasper was quite feverish and wailing uncontrollably. I took him from his nurse and walked with him in my arms. I recognized the rash on his skin. It was the red fever. Rad'en' had it when he was a young boy and recovered. Many more, like young Yasper, were not so fortunate. Later that same night the screaming stopped. I continued to walk with the still and silent infant in my arms until morning.

I tried to rest, but could not. I had a servant girl bring me some fresh clothes and I washed and dressed. She brought me food, but I hadn't the appetite to eat. A short while later Paynor led me to see the king in his chamber. Roarke's eyes were distant and vacant as he sat on his sofa. I bowed my head and stood before him. There was no response so I lifted my gaze. He was staring at me as though he saw a ghost. The fool servant had brought me one of Adelaide's dresses. Of course she was only following Paynor's orders as I would find out much later. Another of his cruel reminders of who it was in charge.

I knelt before the king and spoke to him. Gradually I could feel him there with me and he began to address me. He told me that he was sorry that I did not heed the warnings to stay away from court. He insisted that Yasper perished from the same plague that took his wife and father and so many others though I swore otherwise because the red fever only attacks the very young. There was no consoling him. I braced myself and asked him if my husband had been to see him since the end of the holy war. He said he had not, yet I sensed that Nalev was not only near but that we were all in great danger.

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Eburgistraten, by Roarke

2009-07-22T20:50:00.014-04:00

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In his youth, Eburgistraten spent the most time with his cousins Drezi and Hezason. When Drezi, being a few years older, was about to be married to Princess Dophe of Belaurii there was a great celebration that involved much drinking, loud music and parlor games of chance. Hezason only excelled in tests of strategy and was always first out. Eburgistraten and Drezi, both lucky by nature, were both about to claim victory, at least each looked sure of it, when King Olan entered the parlor with the ever-present demon the High Queen.

When not channeling the voices of war casualties and other notorious dead, the High Queen was still the most captivating vision of beauty. Years before she had taken to wearing a long dark hat and veil with feathers and jewels jutting about in a silly arrangement. There were those in the court that felt it was yet another muse to lure the wary before draining the life from them. Ara had been legendary in both beauty and vanity. Little by little, Ara was emerging from the hold of the Lane. The High Queen wore a gown made of loosely hung white gauze that dipped and moved in all the most provocative places. Those who valued their life stayed clear of her.

Eburgistraten rolled his dice, then cheered. “Fatal!”

“How could you possibly win again?” Drezi protested. “Would you have me a pauper before my wedding day?”

“Not I cousin. The dice.” Eburgistraten smiled and collected the gold and silver coins from the floor.

King Olan tried to socialize with his guests, but was ever wary that he would be interrupted by a harrowing death count. Hezason watched her the High Queen, his eyes transfixed, “She comes this way.”

Eburgistraten counted his winnings.

“Who?” Asked Drezi as he stood from the floor.

Eburgistraten looked up just at the moment that Drezi bumped into the tail end of the High Queen. Drezi, his luck having run out, was dead before his body hit the floor. The young prince dropped his coins. Hezason fell to his knees beside his friend, but there was nothing to be done.

King Olan quickly took notice of the situation and spoke calmly. “Looks as though Prince Eburgistraten will marry Princess Dophe tomorrow. Do try to get some rest. We can't have you showing up for the ceremony suffering from the ill-affects of too much drink. We have enough troubles with the Eltesnians; let's not offend Belaurii."

Eburgistraten returned to his room but only long enough to gather a cloak and sword before vanishing quietly into the dark of night. Two days later he appeared at the palace of King Dalma to seek asylum. Unfortunately, my father was of all places, deep within Kanabulan at for the annual summit with the Dzai priesthood. Held at the House of Women, the event was designed as a week-long celebration of diversity within the Dzai community and camaraderie, usually of the orgiastic type, culminating in the Re-enactment of Entrapment.

Councilman Paynor received Eburgistraten with much caution and sent word to summon my father back from the festivities. As a lad of eight I found Eburgistraten to be such a curiosity. What on could possibly drive a prince into the enemy court? None the less, I showed him hospitality and in return Eburgistraten helped me with my math assignments with colorful gambling analogies that I still remember to this day. My older sister Nilah was even more fascinated than I.

Once my father returned to the palace, he and Eburgistraten were sequestered for the better part of a month. I secretly hoped that he would be granted asylum, but when Eburgistraten finally exited my father’s private study he shook my hand, gave me a broad smile and left. It would be years until I was privy to any details of that encounter.

***

Eburgistraten returned, albeit defiantly with High Priestess Vay as his bride. Vay was short and squat in physique with long graying hair. She possessed a finely tuned sensuality and was a gifted interpreter; however, neither of these attributes made her accepted around the court. King Olan was on a very long list of men and women who considered the High Priestess to be a duplicitous whore. He ordered that she be removed at once because it was not prudent to bring the enemy into the palace. Eburgistraten agreed, as long as she was not already with child.

“The woman is a prostitute. What makes you think you would be the father?” Olan’s voice was calm yet stern.

“First of all, Vay is High Priestess, and as such is only engaged in sanctimonious matters. Secondly, would you have me risk sending an heir...”

“Yes. All right. She shall remain here for three months, under our strict supervision. If she is not pregnant, out she goes. You will arrange for your first and most important marriage to Princess Dophe, if her father can still be bribed. The royal family was not pleased to arrive and find the groom dead and his replacement gone missing.”

Vay was in fact with child and in due time produced the most beautiful baby girl. Then she was ousted from the palace, happy to return to the House of Women. Eburgistraten employed the services of his childhood nurse maid to help him care for his daughter whom he named “Naeri—fiercely loyal”.

Eburgistraten was blissfully happy. His daughter adored him and King Olan, ever-questioning the true lineage of the girl, virtually tossed him aside. With four others in line for the tier, it was no great loss for the kingdom.

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Strangers in Belaurii, from Fen's Memoirs

2009-07-22T20:45:00.016-04:00

Part 2

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For nearly five years D'Hir, Hetta and I lived in the court of Queen Dophe and King Neopar without much ado. Other than the absence of D'Hir's parents, our lives were pretty much the same. At least mine was. I had grown accustomed the feeling of abandonment; however, D'Hir missed his family terribly.

After fulfilling our rigorous daily academic and artistic agendas D'Hir and I overlooked no opportunity to escape into the countryside. We always said that each time we would go just a little bit farther until at last we would find ourselves all the way to the sea where we could stow away on a ship and explore a world far removed from our pampered, dictated and confining existence. It was at the seaside were Roarke and Adelaide took their last holiday in Belaurii with us before their baby son was born. The sea always made D'Hir feel closer to his family.

On one hand, it was a great relief to me when dear little D'Hir finally surpassed me in height. Before that time he had the dreadfully annoying habit of staring at my breasts as we danced in court events. But now that he was becoming a young man, the fondness and familiarity we shared for so long seemed to vanish into awkwardness. Another four years and we would marry as arranged my guardian and his parents long ago in some great alliance the details of which neither one of us seemed to be privy. I now looked for any opportunity not to be alone with him. There were my dalliances with men around court which I managed to keep from him, but not from the watchful and vengeful eyes of Queen Dophe.

I had become lady in waiting to Queen Dophe when I turned twenty even though she had never liked me. My guardian Burgi had humiliated her by refusing to act as proxy and honor the alliance of marriage. She had been set to marry his cousin Drezi before his untimely and unfortunate demise at the hand, actually the ass, of the Lane. Dophe made sure that the minds of the women of the court were set against me, which is probably why I found the company of its men so alluring.

My mornings were generally consumed with the arduous task of dressing the Queen and perfecting her coiffure, all the while biting my tongue as she found countless things for which to chide me. If she was feeling particularly malicious she would offer me the opportunity to play a game of cards with her. I had grown very good at devising strategies that ensured her victory. Even though I owed her a king's ransom already, I could not imagine the misery that would beset me should I dare defeat her.

One particular morning, despite my noblest efforts to feign amusement and joviality, the Queen saw through me to my utter boredom and disgust. The games went on and on. We didn't stop to eat and I dared not ask even to get up to stretch my legs which kept falling asleep. A grueling eternity passed as my stomach growled and eyes blurred. Evening came and went. Finally the tedium was interrupted by a knock on the door. For the first time in many months I was truly delighted to see D'Hir when the Queen invited him into her parlor. I started to sort through the cards of the interrupted game when I was curtly dismissed. If I was at first confused by her move, the bawdy ruckus that ensured quickly dispelled any misconceptions. I knocked on the door, and was ignored. I knocked harder. The Queen's only response was to move the action closer to the door.

While I stood in my astonishment, I was joined by the only person in court that the Queen despised more than I.

"There there, poppet," King Neopar said as he patted me on the shoulder, "She'll give him back when she's done with him."

"Two things I need you to know before you leave," Prince Roarke told me before D'Hir, Hetta and I left for our stay in Belaurii. "Keep an eye on D'Hir. I'm counting on you to keep him out of trouble." He made an uneasy sigh and looked my squarely in the eyes. "And whatever you do, keep your distance from King Neopar." I did my best to honor those two requests, and was quite successful up until that night.

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The Entrapment

2009-07-22T20:24:00.013-04:00

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From "The Book of Ara", Page 14

Of kindred ties and lovers woes,

upon the heart such grief bestows.

But here am I and no one knows,

that deep in me this tempest blows.

The High Queen, or Ara Lane as she was known to the Dzai, had been alive for no less than one thousand and eight years by the reckoning of the great scribes. Ara beheld legendary beauty and was a great healer among the early Dzai. She wandered from village to village in search of people in need. Some believed that she held the very secret to life and death beneath her fair golden locks.

Early Dzai theology was an oxymoron at best. The concept of a deity was too highly revered by them as to trust it to carnal minds. Oral tradition handed down from generation to generation clearly states that Ara neither condoned nor promoted doctrine of any kind. None the less, Ara was considered to be the first High Priestess of her people. She also was known to hold many men in high regard in her travels. Nothing more was known about her. Anything else was simply one more topic not to discuss.

Her people lived in small temporary villages and hunted and fished for their sustenance. The only land area suited for farming in the otherwise rocky terrain was in the oft disputed fertile Valley of the River Iibere. It was rumored, even then, to contain vast mines of gold and silver. This was the real reason that Kanabulan took interest in the land and sought to gain rights to the territory.

As word spread of Ara’s healing, King Erebus of Kanabulan schemed with his advisers, men of the highest level of wizardry, to capture Ara and force her secrets from her by whatever means necessary.

On the afternoon of the Eleventh of Parlong, Ara arrived at the largest of the Dzai villages. She had received word that a terrible outbreak threatened their very existence. The Founders rushed to Ara and brought her to their meeting house that now served as an infirmary. The great room was filled with men, women and children—pale, sweating and thrashing about as the rancid odor of soiled clothing and death itself hung in the air.

As Ara tended to the sickest among them, the thundering sound of horses encompassed the meeting house and then were still. Dozens of Kanabulan soldiers and three highly decorated wizards rushed into the room and began slaughtering all in their path with the fearsome slash of their sword. Two soldiers seized Ara and forced her to watch as each of the Founders were slain.

When she was the last of the Dzai alive, the wizards approached her.

“Tell us your secret and you shall go free,” said the grayest of the wizards.

Ara aghast at the massacre could not reply.

“The great and all-powerful King Erebus will have your secret to immortality.”

“I will die like the others.”

“Very well. The secret will be revealed in your very blood. There is no element in this land that we cannot ascertain.” The gray wizard, whose name was Durnast, nodded. One wizard held a sharp knife to Ara’s neck the other a bowl. Durnast fingered a heavy rope of silver around his neck. A pendant of brilliant red stone hung heavily about it. He spoke something in an ancient tongue as the sword slit Ara’s throat. Soon, Ara slumped over, held up by the soldiers. The old wizard watched expectantly, holding his breath. Suddenly Ara’s body snapped back. Durnast seized the necklace and quickly hung it about Ara’s neck. He smiled, quite sure that his plan was a success.

Chief Wizard Durnast was a man driven by the ancient ambition to rid the land of Kanabulan of the inexplicable entities that perplexed those of idle minds. Wizards of his particular order held reason and logic above all other human traits and vowed to instill these great virtues in the common man. All things in life were theorized, quantified, qualified and declared true and proven beyond question. Failures were eradicated.

There were those of the unproven category that were most reluctant to be held long enough to be cast properly into oblivion. It was to combat their elusiveness that the Laws of Entrapment were written, and rewritten countless times after their ineffectiveness was revealed, and the dead wizard’s remains gathered and buried.

It was only a matter of time, and bombastic determination, before the correct solution was realized. Durnast stood at this moment on that fateful Eleventh of Purlong—and then he, too, was gone.

Dzai scribes and scholars from neighboring countries have long disputed what next occurred. Some hold fast to the notion that a great fire consumed the meeting house and all inside, culminating in a horrendous explosion—out of which Ara was said to emerge unscathed by the flames and virtually flew to the capital city of Kanabulan.

First of all, while I am not an historian by trade, this is a preposterous theory. The truth was strange enough. Surviving villagers, those few that had escaped the onslaught of the soldiers, found Ara’s leather bound journal in her travel sack inside the meeting house. These items were preserved by the villagers and have survived to this day as relics in the Dzai capital city of Cznorh. Ara’s journal contained no mention of the legendary tree of life, which she was thought to use in her remedies. Primarily, it was a collection of poetry and silly drawings of men, presumably those she encountered in her many journeys. From these drawings, one could surmise one of two things: there were no women among the early Dzai or that Ara possessed an insatiable carnal appetite. Since there were indeed both middle and modern day Dzai, there is only one real solution. It was more complicated than that as I would discover over a millennium later.

On the thirteenth day of Purlong, Ara, or at least the body of Ara, thundered into the palace of King Erebus. Her eyes shone red as hot embers. The very air around her crackled and hissed. When the guards finally got close enough to stop her from entering the throne room she opened her mouth and then erupted the most horrifying, body-numbing sounds ever before cast upon human ears. Innumerable voices groaned, crashed, roared and exploded in a cacophony of fury as she spoke these words, “Your king sent for me.”

From a distance King Erebus could only marvel at her rare beauty. Her deerskin dress clung to her petite body. Ara’s golden locks took flight behind her as she closed in on the king at a feverish pace.

Suddenly King Erebus felt the air sucked from his lungs. He saw the pendant around her neck and the bloodstains on her clothing—but no Durnast, no soldiers.

“Gather your children. Today you will become immortal!”

King Erebus motioned to his guards and they were gone. There was no further discourse from Ara. The King had only his excitement and ambition to offer him explanations. The entire palace came alive with anticipation. Courtesans and loyal subjects filled the throne room as servants hasted to prepare for the feast of all time.

The guards returned with the king’s two sons, handsome young men, one tall and dark and the other one taller still and fair, and his princess who was a tiny cherub in braids.

“We are ready!” Spoke the king.

Ara looked at them, void of emotion. “Set down your scepter.”

King Erebus complied. Ara picked it up and offered it to him. The king looked at her quite perplexed.

“Take it!” She bellowed.

As the king touched the scepter it began to burn and he could not pull away. Ara held fast to her end and uttered these words, “Erebus, you have summoned the Lane and today you have become immortal.”

With that, the burning in his hands ceased. He felt nothing. Not even sorrow as he looked out over the throne room. Two hundred twenty men, women and princes lay dead on the floor. Only princess Neila stood among the corpses, her mouth and eyes open in shock.

“Behold your heir--and your lone living subject within these palace walls. Retribution for you arrogance has only just begun.”

That was how the beautiful nymph named Ara became avatar for some unknown entity that referred to itself only as Lane. Over the years it chose to be honored by those it tormented without mercy as the High Queen. King Erebus was the first of five to be offered life eternal by the High Queen. After his king-making ceremony the king could no longer eat, sleep or feel but that was the price to pay for immortality and rationality.

Outraged by the hubris of their enemy, the Dzai waged a holy war against Kanabulan. Every man, woman and child became both soldier and theologian as the Dzai were thrown into this next phase of their evolution as a people. The earliest members of the priesthood were uncertain as to the greater abomination: the entrapment itself or their own vain attempts to ponder the imponderables.

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