Conversations, by Misha

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On those glorious evenings that we got Neopar drunk enough to pass out, there was freedom for one and all. While Fen liked to go missing, I generally went to the quarters that Hetta and Taisia shared for a night of drinking, soul-searching, card-playing and needle point. Hetta had designed an elaborate tapestry in her mind but with her failing eyesight and unsteady hands she found it easier to direct me. The colors, though vibrant and bold, were still difficult to work with in the candlelight.

We were an odd circle of friends: the cuckhold, the aged nurse and the jilted mistress, but very tight none the less. Hetta was not humerous by nature, but was quite a gifted storyteller and was guaranteed to have us laughing so hard that we couldn't see straight. Many of her more colorful stories revolved around Renet Aylii.

Fun, playfull and affectionate, she was more puppy than teacher and everyone loved Aylii, but no one more so than Hetta.

Hetta spent much of her early life wandering in and out of the House with her parents as they conducted their garment business. She enjoyed all of the religious and academic training as the sisters, but as a full Eltesnian citizen she had the world at her feet. Unfortunately, she wasn't interested in the world, only in helping her best friend find a way out of her servitude.

There was always a way out - it just took time, money and the requisite contribution of three children to serve the House. Hetta and Aylii constantly petitioned Nalev to intercede on for them, but even as high priest, his hands were tied by bureaucracy. Hetta concentrated her efforts on her parents, but they were unwilling to throw their money or their reputation in House and Court away for anything. When she persisted too much, she was banished from the House and forced to remain at the Court at Kanabulan. Shortly afterward Prince Avram took notice of her. By the time Hezason was born the prince had already lost interest in Hetta and moved on with his philandering, but she remained at the Court and raised their son.

Hetta became a much sought after nurse and raised Hezason's cousin Eburgistraten until he was nearly thirteen. Then she packed up her bags and went to the House looking for Aylii only to find that she had fulfilled her obligation and was redeemed from further servitude by wealthy landowner from the northwestern mountains of Eltesnia.

Well, I suppose it wasn't always humorous. Sometimes life has a way of sticking it to you no matter what. At any rate, the companionship the three of us shared did immeasurable good for our well-being.


It was a few hours before sunrise when I retired to my bed. I was restless and beginning to worry about what Fen had gotten herself into. Eventually I drifted off, but was easily awoken when she crept into bed.

"Rough night?" I asked.

"I went for a ride."

"By yourself?"

"Yes." She stated.

"You know, it's one thing if I think you're knocking around with a bunch of rich, inbred malcontents, but I can not condone you traipsing about the countryside until the wee hours of the morning. Do you have any idea what type of people are out there?"

"I do know what type of people are in here," Fen said defiantly. "Did you have a pleasant night?"

"While I was up worrying about you?" I asked.

"You were asleep when I got in."

"I was not asleep. My eyes were just closed."

"I'm sorry if I caused you any undue concern." She said somewhat contritely. There was a long pause then she whispered, "Good night, Misha."

"I'm not sleeping," I grumbled and rolled onto my side, facing away from her.

"Come on, Misha. I apologized already. What more do you want from me?"

"I'm not angry with you," I stated.

"Then what is it? Don't make me beg you to talk... Even though you always ridicule me for running off at the mouth about my petty problems."

"I never accused you of having petty problems, just a petty attitude." I corrected.

"Oh, that's so much better." She quipped then placed her arm around me.

"I was hoping for news by now, Fen."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry that I got you even more involved in this whole mess," Fen said. "I was only trying to help."

"I've survived worse."

"Really?"

"No."

Fen kissed my ear and the side of my face. I can't claim that I thought much about it before hand, but I turned my face and kissed her. I was far too tired to think about anything or anyone --right up until I accidentally called her by the wrong name.

"What did you call me?!" She shrieked and got out of the bed.

"I'm sorry, it slipped out. I don't know why."

"My mother?!"

She continued to shriek a number of insults to my character while wildly gesticulating with both arms. I attempted to interject that her mother was very attractive, but that, as you may imagine, was not the proper thing to say.

"Look, Misha, if you want to fuck my mother, just do it. Leave me out of it!"

"I don't want to fuck your mother. I was just thinking about her."

"While you were kissing me? Thanks for clearing up that misunderstanding!"

"Fen, sit down," I pleaded.

"I don't want to sit down!" She snapped.

"I'm not after your mother. As if I needed any other reason, Rad'en' is in love with her."

"Screw Rad'en'! What does he have to do with this?"

"He's my son, Fen."


She was speechless. I enjoyed each moment of absolute quiet to hear myself think. I was tired and really didn't want to get into it, but I hadn't left myself any other option. The last thing I wanted was for her to start babbling on with her theories as she attempted to get inside my head.

"So you've always had a problem with boundaries," Fen remarked under her breath. Even before I had a chance to explain, she took back precisely three insults, but no more. She held strongly to the validity of the other twenty or so, I had rapidly lost count during her tirade.

"Zbinka's father was very ill for a long time. After he died, she was a wreck from drinking too much. I attempted to comfort her."

"Sounds like you succeeded."

"I was young and stupid. Nothing more to it than that."

"Then why should you care so much about Rad'en'?"

"When he was a little he used to worship me. Worship me, Fen. That didn't change until he went off to the military academy. I'd still do anything for him."

"Even after he wanted to kill you?"

"Whether he knows it or not, he's my son, Fen. That's really all that matters to me."


Fen got under the covers and laid her head on my chest. She was right, of course. Taisia had such a warm and unassuming nature. Soft words and gentle laughter flowed effortlessly from her lips. She possessed both beauty and strength in such an alluring amalgamation that it was hard for me to turn away. Yet from the very beginning, I was determined that she would be the one person I could never have.

Other things were certain as well: Ompar wouldn't sleep forever and in spite of all the bickering and jealousy of our contrived and unholy union, I never doubted that I could count on Fen to be my soul's confessor, nor I hers.

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Following the Music, from Fen's Memoirs

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I returned to my friends in the court and contemplated a visit back to Kanabulan to see Hetta, possibly even my father. Misha and Nalev spent endless hours talking about plans for Gelassi and incorporating the Houseborne into the settlement. They had hopes that I could soften my father's relationship with the growing militarily trained population encroaching on his eastern border. The women of the House were being gradually moved into the settlement to make it seem less intimidating, at least to the outside observer. Truth was that the brothers and sisters of the House seemed not only diametrically opposed but poised to destroy the other rather than mating and forming a stable, sustainable town. With all of that chaos, sex and violence, how could I not want to get involved?

Before too long Roarke had resurfaced and could be found from time to time, in all places, on his throne. I kept my distance from him.

One night after supper I heard music coming from the hallway. I walked outside to listen. After a few moments the small band of three men slowly walked away from me. I had nothing better to do so I followed them. They traveled up and down the corridors and eventually into the royal gardens. I hesitated, but followed them there as well. Although I was afraid that Roarke was trying to meet with me to beg for forgiveness, but he was nowhere to be found. Consequently, I got to enjoy the music on my own. After a while I started to walk away and the band followed me. I went over to the pond and lay down on the ground watching the stars while I listened to my private concert.

It was rather relaxing and I fell asleep. They were still playing when I awoke. It was sweet, but I was cold from the ground and wanted my bed. I walked back to my room, the band following me all the way. I opened my door, turned to them and said goodnight. It didn't seem like they were going to leave.

When I entered my room I found all of my things from Belaurii had been brought in and there were candles and flowers everywhere. There was a note on my table.

"I wanted you to feel at home. Your mother graciously assisted. -R"

I put the note in my desk drawer, along with the other letters from Roarke and his shirt. Then as the band played on, I fell into a restful slumber in the comfort of my bed.


The next morning I actually sought out Roarke, only to find that he had left to complete his mission to save the world and taken Nalev, Tironik and Paynor with him.

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Enigmatic Enemies, from Zbinka's Musings

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Rad'en' delayed the journey until he believed Taisia was strong enough. Those five days would cost him dearly as it also gave the renegade Houseborne, those not already aligned with Kanabulan, time to gather and plan a reckless attack near the border of Belaurii. There were a group of less than one hundred when they set out, but as they continued on, there numbers grew. Atleast three hundred and fifty of the men under Tironik's charge deserted to join their brothers.

Meanwhile Rad'en', Misha, Taisia and Ussati were inseparable and well-guarded. The journey neared its end and they were camped about a days ride from the Belaurii border. After an uneventful supper, Misha continued amusing Taisia with stories from Rad'en's childhood. As Rad'en' was already quite smitten with the woman, his usually quick temper against his nemesis was greatly subdued. Taisia, on her part, was grateful to be going home to Belaurii and hopeful that her aunt would welcome her into her court.

Early the next morning, before daybreak the renegade Houseborne surrounded the camp to retrieve Misha. Fighting erupted and Misha took Taisia to safety. The two of them were quickly met by the Belaurii escort and taken onward to the capital with twenty men. The remainder of the Belauriian troops joined the fight. The Belaurii first fought the Houseborne, greatly diminishing their numbers, then turned against Rad'en' and his men. Rad'en', Ussati and roughly half of their men survived the fighting. He wondered why the Belaurii wanted him dead on Eltesnian soil, if not by his king's consent. He had done nothing wrong yet he had become an enemy of his own country along with Misha and Nalev. He gave his men an opportunity to part company, which they all declined, and they rode with the remnant of the Houseborne back to Gelassi to meet with Tironik, the truth of Misha's words echoing in his head.

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Fury and Diplomacy, from Zbinka's Musings

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First of all, taking nothing away from Tironik's Commentary, he conveniently neglected to mention the shameful display of vindictiveness perpetrated upon Taisia by the recently empowered King and Queen of Kanabulan. Because of his underlying devotion to his mistress one cannot expect him to be impartial observer or recorder of the events as they truly occurred. Nor is my insistence in capturing such an unpleasant and controversial chain of events appreciated for truth's sake alone. Yet is is for perpetuity that I am compelled to write that which most would just as soon be allowed to fade into oblivion. No, not even for the greater good of diplomacy can I ignore the pain and betrayal of one. For if atrocities are measured only by the scores and suffering of the individual made most miniscule then we have indeed lost the most basic soul of humanity - our capacity for compassion and understanding. The consequence of lies of omission of truth will mar our existence more than any act of man, nature or imponderables.

Rad'en's troops, driven by fury rallied against the Houseborne who had joined forces with the enemy at Gelassi. I knew it would be a matter of time before he took Gelassi and that as a captive of Paynor my influence was severely limited. Fortunately, a brilliant opportunity came to mind and I was able to gain the support of Paynor himself. It seemed that the intended for Roarke's son D'Hir had recently grown impatient of waiting and became mistress to the King of Belaurii, which even as temporary employment can prove fatal. It would be good for Paynor to have Eyre Nalev's page Misha sent to Belaurii to act as her guard.

He looked perplexed and somewhat annoyed as he asked why he should care.

"Because, as you are probably already well aware," I answered calmly, "Misha is threat to you whether alive or dead. Only in removing him from the other Houseborne until after the war will you be free of his influence."

Just as there were many rumors that swirled around my involvement with the radical groups that organized the kidnappings of the Houseborne, it had been rumored that Paynor and Queen Dophe were lovers many years back and still kept close ties. I was willing to bet not only my life but Misha's as well that those rumors and implications were true.

With every new day I felt a powerful outside presence at work in the Court of Cznorh and doubted very much that my cousin had anything to do with the decisions he was forced to make. Yet I dared not speak to him about all that I had on my mind for it seemed that were so infrequently alone. On those occasions when we were alone I feared what I saw in his eyes, or rather what I did not. There was so little life left in those distant eyes. My father had those same hollow eyes and there was only one end to his years of anguish. I swore to myself that the same fate would not await Roarke, but I knew only time would tell.

Rad'en' was not pleased that his new orders were so specific. He was to capture Misha and personally escort him into Belaurii where he would wait out the remainder of the war under the watchful eye of Queen Dophe and King Neopar. As a dutiful officer Rad'en' did as he was told in regard to Misha. His troops did take the liberty to kill at least two hundred and thirty of the Houseborne traitors.

Eyre Tironik, really more at ease with mending the wounded than dashing the enemy to shreds had managed to capture a good number of the Eltesnian Royal Army which he intended to use as a bargaining tool. Queen Naeri had adamantly insisted that the king's lover be marched, naked and without possession of any kind, out of the country. Tironik arranged a trade with Rad'en'. Kanabulan would release all of its prisoners taken at Gelassi in exchange for Rad'en' agreeing to escort Lady Taisia to the Court at Belaurii where she would reside with her daughter Fen. That journey across Eltesnia would prove Rad'en's capacity both for love and for hate.

"Is this necessary?" Misha asked from the chair to which he was tied then spit out a mouthful of blood onto the ground. He had taken a quite beating from Rad'en'.

"Where is your Eyre, traitor?"

"The rules of our engagement in the holy war were set three hundred years ago. The Houseborne have fought, bled and died for a war that has ended, not for a country that disavows our humanity."

"The king has not ordered an end to the war!" Rad'en' shouted.

"Our mandate is through the House. The Lane has been freed and no just cause remains for war against Kanabulan."

"Done being a fighter, so you'll turn philosopher? The king says fight so we fight! Where is my father?"

"Ask your king," Misha replied coldly.

"Damn your insolence. I could have you killed!"

"We both know you missed your opportunity to strike me down in battle."

"You should be hung for treason and desertion."

"Where is your father, Rad'en'?" Misha looked him squarely in the eyes. "Did he flee into the mountains to regroup what remains of the dreaded deserters? Is that what you think happened? I tell you, Rad'en', Eyre Nalev returned to the court of Cznorh to formally disband the Houseborne before the King and accept his position in the Royal Army. He had a country, we did not. You know what I say is true."

"Silence!"

"Excuse me, Eyre Rad'en'," said a tentative voice in the entry way of the tent.

"What is it?" Rad'en' snapped.

"A message from Eyre Tironik," Ussati said as he held out a letter.

"Well, Misha, looks as though your new country would like to have you back. Usatti, reply back that we will accept our men and transport the girl but we have other plans for Misha."

Two days later Rad'en', accompanied by one third of his troops on horseback, heard boisterous laughter and jeering even before the soldiers of Kanabulan were sighted. Soon they say the entourage from Kanabulan, first those on horseback riding through the clearing, with Taisia, naked and barefoot, stumbling in front of them. They were followed by a good number of ground troops which surrounded the Eltesnian prisoners. Rad'en' felt sick to his stomach at the sight. He approached Taisia and wrapped a blanket around her bruised and bloodied body. Obviously she had been pelted by whatever the people of Kanabulan could find as she was forced to parade before them and probably was treated with even more disdain by the soldiers once they were out of the towns. He looked at the men on horseback.

"Release my men and our meeting is over," Rad'en exclaimed.

As his men marched back toward their camp his attention returned to Taisia.

"Lady Taisia, I am Eyre Rad'en'. I have agreed to lending you safe passage to Belaurii. You have my personal assurance that no further harm will come to you."

Once back at the camp Rad'en' had Ussati make their guest as comfortable as possible while he went to where he was keeping Misha. Misha was still tied up inside a well-guarded tent. Rad'en walked inside.

"Is it that time already?" Misha asked dryly.

"Get up," Rad'en' demanded. Aching and anticipating more interrogation, Misha struggled to his feet. Rad'en' took out a knife and cut the ropes on his wrists.

"Clean yourself, we have a guest and I'm not taking my eyes off either one of you until we get to Belaurii. Don't try anything, Misha. I don't disobey orders, but give me one reason to kill you and I swear it will be worth whatever punishment the king has for me."

"You're too kind," replied Misha smugly.

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